Editore"s Note
Tilting at Windmills

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June 5, 2006

BY ALL MEANS, MESS WITH TEXAS....It's going back a few years, but in 2000, the reality-based community got a good look at what grassroots conservative activists wanted in the way of government action when the Texas Republican Party published a party platform. Among other things, it called for a return to the gold standard; the abolishment of the Federal Reserve, Social Security, the minimum wage, and the federal income tax; a wholesale rejection of the separation of church and state, an enthusiastic embrace for creationism in science classes, and the criminalization of all abortions and gay sex.

That was then. How's the Texas GOP holding up now? As wacky as ever.

Lt. Col. Brian Birdwell offered a greeting to delegates to the Republican convention. "It's great to be back in the holy land," the Fort Worth native said to the cheers of the party faithful. For the 4,500 delegates at last week's biennial gathering, it was both an expression of conservative philosophy and religious faith, a melding of church and state.

At Saturday morning's prayer meeting, party leader Tina Benkiser assured them that God was watching over the two-day confab.

"He is the chairman of this party," she said against a backdrop of flags and a GOP seal with its red, white and blue logo.

It kind of gives "holier than thou" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

The activists also adopted a revised party platform that declares, among other things, that "America is a Christian nation"; the official language is "American English"; the Bush should "build a physical barrier" along the entire Mexican border; and voters should have to re-register every four years as well as show a government-issued photo ID in order to participate in an election.

What do Republican activists want? This is what they want.

Steve Benen 3:44 PM Permalink | Trackbacks | Comments (64)

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Comments

Don't forget the sickening, bigoted t-shirts selling like hotcakes to the Texas Republicans...

"Keep America Beautiful - Put up the Wall"

Posted by: ckelly on June 5, 2006 at 3:48 PM | PERMALINK

AND they're going to get all of it!

Posted by: R.L. on June 5, 2006 at 3:49 PM | PERMALINK

I hope they really push for a national, government-issued ID. That will be enough to get the paranoid black-helicopter crowd to abandon the GOP wholesale.

Hell, those people are still circulating emails about how the U.N. is going to ban all guns and forcibly take them away from 'merkins but using Chi-Com troops from bases hidden in the national park system.

Posted by: Derelict on June 5, 2006 at 3:50 PM | PERMALINK

This is really an episode of South Park, right?

When does Mr Garrison become the predidential nominee with Mr Slave as his running mate?

Posted by: jcricket on June 5, 2006 at 3:51 PM | PERMALINK

presidential

Posted by: jcricket on June 5, 2006 at 3:52 PM | PERMALINK

To heck with a national ID. Microchips in the butt cheeks of everyone!

Posted by: Tom DC/VA on June 5, 2006 at 3:54 PM | PERMALINK

Has the TexGOP reaffirmed its commitment to the gold standard, or has dangerous revisionism set in?

Posted by: Friend of Labor on June 5, 2006 at 3:58 PM | PERMALINK

I wonder who had the concession stand for the red-white-and-blue unisex anal dildos?

The ones with Dick Cheney's head in bas-relief ...

Bob

Posted by: rmck1 on June 5, 2006 at 4:01 PM | PERMALINK

If America is a Christian nation, do they mean Catholic?

Or Mormon?

Posted by: Osama_Been_Forgotten on June 5, 2006 at 4:06 PM | PERMALINK

If America is a Christian nation, do they mean Catholic?

snake-handlers

Posted by: cleek on June 5, 2006 at 4:09 PM | PERMALINK

There's increasing evidence that this is not what the moderate Republican party want. In Kansas, several high profile Republicans, one of them a former chairman of the State Republican party, has switched his party identification to the Democrats.
Moderate defection to the Democrat party is a phenomenan I'd like to see more of.

Posted by: ExBrit on June 5, 2006 at 4:13 PM | PERMALINK

"the red-white-and-blue unisex anal dildos?"


Ewwwww. Just... eww. Vividly ewwww.

Posted by: eckersley on June 5, 2006 at 4:14 PM | PERMALINK

And just what exactly is wrong with a Christian, English-speaking nation with a big wall along the Mexican border, presumably to keep the non-Christian, non-English-speakers out? And just why the hell should we allow non-Christians and non-English-speakers to vote, anyway?

Posted by: American Hawk's stand-in on June 5, 2006 at 4:19 PM | PERMALINK

eckersley:

Somebody pulled a switcheroo on this poor guy/gal, whoever s/he was.

The ones they unloaded squirted anthrax :)

(Ahhh, to dream the impossible dream ... )

Bob

Posted by: rmck1 on June 5, 2006 at 4:20 PM | PERMALINK
...the Bush should "build a physical barrier" along the entire Mexican border...

Did I miss the part where we changed the title of the US head of state to "the Bush"?

Posted by: cmdicely on June 5, 2006 at 4:21 PM | PERMALINK

What I wanna know is, do they still have the Dominionist-inspired planks in there that call for corporal punishment in schools -- and public flogging for adulter(ers/esses) ...

Bob

Posted by: rmck1 on June 5, 2006 at 4:23 PM | PERMALINK

Were they all wearing purple heart bandaids to show their support for all the wounded and killed soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan?

Posted by: zAmboni on June 5, 2006 at 4:26 PM | PERMALINK

Note to the NSA:

The above posts in my name are SATIRE.

Look it up. It comes after Satanic and before Satyrism.

Bob

Posted by: rmck1 on June 5, 2006 at 4:29 PM | PERMALINK

Moderate defection to the Democrat party is a phenomenan I'd like to see more of.
Posted by: ExBrit on June 5, 2006 at 4:13 PM | PERMALINK

Sure beats the Moderate DEFECATION on the Democratic party we're seeing today (ie. Joe LIEberman.)

Posted by: Osama_Been_Forgotten on June 5, 2006 at 4:29 PM | PERMALINK

Apparently true story, from a friend of mine who used to work as a Canadian border officer:

[car pulls up]
Officer: "Hello. What's your nation of origin?"
Driver: "America."
Officer: "Do you have any firearms, tobacco, or liquor in your vehicle?"
Driver: "Some tobacco."
Officer: "And how long do you plan to stay in Canada?"
Driver: "Just the weekend."
Officer: "Please pull over to the right so we can check your goods sir. Thank you."

[2nd car pulls up]
Officer: "Hello. Can I get your nation of origin?"
Driver: "United States."
Officer: "Do you have any firearms, tobacco, or liquor in your vehicle?"
Driver: "Nope."
Officer: "And how long do you plan to stay in Canada?"
Driver: "Just the weekend."
Officer: "Welcome to Canada."

[pickup truck pulls up]
Officer: "Hello. What's your nation of origin?"
Driver: "Tea-xus."
Officer: [blank stare]
Officer: "Please pull over to the right sir."

Posted by: Bruce the Canuck on June 5, 2006 at 4:31 PM | PERMALINK

Did I miss the part where we changed the title of the US head of state to "the Bush"?

Actually I think it shoud be "teh Bush."

Posted by: jimBOB on June 5, 2006 at 4:33 PM | PERMALINK

Bruce:

Well, when you land at the airport, there's a big sign sez: WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS.

Bob

Posted by: rmck1 on June 5, 2006 at 4:33 PM | PERMALINK

What is American English?

Or do they mean Texas American English?

Posted by: notthere on June 5, 2006 at 4:35 PM | PERMALINK

Texas used to have an advertising campaign with the slogan, "Texas: It's like a whole other country."

As a friend of mine said after a trip to Texas, "Thank God they're on our side!"

That was 12 years ago. I'm not so sure about his statement these days.

Posted by: Derelict on June 5, 2006 at 4:36 PM | PERMALINK

Well, when you land at the airport, there's a big sign sez: WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS.

Bob
Posted by: rmck1

And right under that is says: 'Please set your watch back to feudalism. Thank you. Have a nice day."

Posted by: CFShep on June 5, 2006 at 4:37 PM | PERMALINK

Well, lessee ... Texas has the 36th worst divorce rate in the country, the 8th highest incidence of syphilis and comes in number 5 for worst rates of teen pregnancy, so blow it out your ass, churchy.
.

Posted by: Grand Moff Texan on June 5, 2006 at 4:44 PM | PERMALINK

"Keep America Beautiful - Put up the Wall"

...Around Texas.

Posted by: Indiana Joe on June 5, 2006 at 4:44 PM | PERMALINK

What is American English?

A borrowed language that the original owner will not take back.
.

Posted by: Grand Moff Texan on June 5, 2006 at 4:46 PM | PERMALINK

"Texas: America's Large Intestine"

Posted by: trueblue on June 5, 2006 at 4:49 PM | PERMALINK

" and voters should have to re-register every four years as well as show a government-issued photo ID in order to participate in an election."

Just an obvious observation...

A government issued photo ID?
What the hell is a drivers license if not a Government issued photo ID?
Seriously, are they that dense?

Posted by: sheerahkahn on June 5, 2006 at 4:54 PM | PERMALINK

How insane And the lefties only want the government to take over 1/7th of the US economy. Now, THAT'S completely normal!

Posted by: Al on June 5, 2006 at 4:55 PM | PERMALINK

Oh, and btw, my last great Texas GOP convention memory was the reference to the Democratic gubernatorial candidates' Spanish-language debate as "an act of treason."

To establish that there are non freaktard Texans, I'd like to invite y'all to my blog, TexasKOS.com, but soapblox crashed today and we're offline.
.

Posted by: Grand Moff Texan on June 5, 2006 at 4:56 PM | PERMALINK

And the lefties only want the government to take over 1/7th of the US economy. Now, THAT'S completely normal!

Should we tell Al how much of the Bush "boom" is simply government spending, or would that be cruel?

M3, anybody?
.

Posted by: Grand Moff Texan on June 5, 2006 at 4:58 PM | PERMALINK

"What do Republican activists want? This is what they want."

No, what they want is a theocratic dictatorship. The things Kevin mentions are just ways of getting there.

Posted by: billmon on June 5, 2006 at 4:59 PM | PERMALINK

BILLMON'S ALIVE! ALIVE, I TELL YOU!!!
.

Posted by: Grand Moff Texan on June 5, 2006 at 5:01 PM | PERMALINK

isnt texas just a microcosm of your fecked up country? florida, texas louisiana, whatever. idaho, iowa, ohio, youre all the same to me. the crackers are just as dumb as the rednecks, the rednecks just dont care to pretend.

i agree with the comments i see posted "the more south you go, the dumber you get". every time i take one step south of the canadian border, i wonder how it is you people manage to feed yourselves and get your selves to work each day.

stop electing crazy people to run your country!! you are messing up the entire world with your stupid decisions.

Posted by: mike on June 5, 2006 at 5:05 PM | PERMALINK

For those who don't recall, Kevin did a post in late 2002, I think (he was still Calpundit at the time) looking at the Texas GOP platform and rewriting it in plain English. It was a simple exercise, yet it revealed a great deal about the people who had taken control of the national GOP. My showing it to my father, then 72 and a lifelong Republican, was what started him down the road to not only voting for Kerry in '04 but also trying to get all his aging Republican friends to do likewise.

Posted by: Lex on June 5, 2006 at 5:09 PM | PERMALINK

It telling that such folks not only feel confortable in the Republican party, but empowered and blissfully optimistic about implementing their agenda. Yet, those Republicans who supposedly differ with such folks are "so tired" of being suspected of prejudice and bigotry. Ah, poor persecuted dears.

Posted by: little ole jim from red country on June 5, 2006 at 5:10 PM | PERMALINK

A government issued photo ID? What the hell is a drivers license if not a Government issued photo ID?
Seriously, are they that dense? Posted by: sheerahkahn

Not to give aid and comfort to the enemy, but we do have some of the laxest voting laws in the world. Why do you think election fraud is so rampant here, but you never here much about it in Canada, W. Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Taiwan or S. Korea? Primarily because we don't require a national ID card or even picture ID when voting. I've voted more times than not without being asked. I was registered to vote in NY for the short three years I lived there, and used by Washington State driver's license for ID during this time.

Face it folks, we pretty much abdicated our democracy and control of government at the national level by not demanding a complete revote in Florida in 2000.

Posted by: JeffII on June 5, 2006 at 5:10 PM | PERMALINK

At Saturday morning's prayer meeting, party leader Tina Benkiser assured them that God was watching over the two-day confab. "He is the chairman of this party," she said...

This reminds me of the name of a certain Lebanese terrorist-organization-cum-political-party...

Coming to think of it, "the American Hezbollah" is a more accurate description of the theocratic wing of the GOP than "the American Taliban".

Posted by: rajH on June 5, 2006 at 5:37 PM | PERMALINK

In the past year or so, I've run into three people wearing t-shirts that say, "Welcome to America. Now speak English." Not one of them could have passed a fourth-grade English test. But their hair was large!

Posted by: shortstop on June 5, 2006 at 5:41 PM | PERMALINK

" But their hair was large!"

Yes, but did they have mullets, ripped jeans, and 80's heavy metal band T-shirts?

Posted by: sheerahkahn on June 5, 2006 at 6:17 PM | PERMALINK

JeffII

The GOP thanks you for supporting stricter voter identification requirements.

Posted by: Abel on June 5, 2006 at 6:27 PM | PERMALINK

The Republican party in Minnesota is evidently second only to that of Texas in terms of right-wingedness. It isn't coincidence: I believe the billionaires that fund conservative think tanks, Swift boat attacks, Whitewater investigation, pro-America bloggers in Iraq, anti-gay propaganda campaigns, the assault on the "death" tax and so on, also decided to invest in "saving" Minnesota from its progressive ways.

Posted by: PTate in MN on June 5, 2006 at 6:28 PM | PERMALINK
Not to give aid and comfort to the enemy, but we do have some of the laxest voting laws in the world.

Yeah, for one thing, we don't even require citizens to vote. Talk about lax.


Why do you think election fraud is so rampant here, but you never here much about it in Canada, W. Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Taiwan or S. Korea?

Because we don't here any news from those places most of the time in the US media? And because election fraud is only useful in a place that cares about the forms of elections but where the population is vastly apathetic, which doesn't happen together very much, but certainly does in the US.

Posted by: cmdicely on June 5, 2006 at 6:36 PM | PERMALINK

In the past year or so, I've run into three people wearing t-shirts that say, "Welcome to America. Now speak English." Not one of them could have passed a fourth-grade English test. But their hair was large! Posted by: shortstop

I didn't know you hung out in Cicero all that much.

Posted by: JeffII on June 5, 2006 at 6:56 PM | PERMALINK

"Texas: It's like a whole other country."

Yeah...Mexico.

Posted by: Ken on June 5, 2006 at 7:01 PM | PERMALINK

I didn't know you hung out in Cicero all that much.

Bwa! And how do you know about Cicero, doll? You know it's not the same since Betty Loren-Maltese went to the big house, don't you?

Posted by: shortstop on June 5, 2006 at 7:15 PM | PERMALINK
"Texas: It's like a whole other country."

Yeah...Mexico.

What did Mexico do to deserve that?

Posted by: cmdicely on June 5, 2006 at 7:39 PM | PERMALINK

At Saturday morning's prayer meeting, party leader Tina Benkiser assured them that God was watching over the two-day confab.

"He is the chairman of this party," she said against a backdrop of flags and a GOP seal with its red, white and blue logo.

Ken Mehlman is God?

Wait, then that would mean God is ... a ... closeted ... homose--

Wow. The things you can learn on the Internet.

Posted by: Califlander on June 5, 2006 at 8:55 PM | PERMALINK

Abel: The GOP thanks you for supporting stricter voter identification requirements.

I think that specific strict voter ID requirements are preferable to selectively vague ones. Unless we are to assume that our side relies on fraudulent votes, I don't see a problem with demonstrating that the person voting is the same one whose name is checked off the list at the polling place.

I lived for several years at an address where I received sample ballots in the name of the (deceased) former owner. It would have been a simple thing to vote under my name first thing in the morning and under his name in the evening, when the second shift would presumably be on duty. I yield to no man in the loathing and contempt I feel toward the zombie that has devoured the old GOP (which, to be sure, I wasn't crazy about) from within and that now shambles about in its tattered, ulcerous hide, but given the other recent trespasses and tramplings upon our ancient liberties a slight tightening of the ID requirements--to the level at present required, say, to pay by check at retail or (forgive me) to receive food stamps (do those even exist anymore?)--does not strike me as comparable to most of the oppo's other lunatic initiatives. Moreover, an explicit codification of the ID requirements could reduce the wiggle room of partisan officials at the polling place just itching to disqualify a hopeful voter on one ground or another.

Posted by: Rand Careaga on June 5, 2006 at 9:07 PM | PERMALINK

Mike @5:05 pm: Be nice! Way over the top, eh?

Posted by: Soviet Canuckastani on June 5, 2006 at 11:41 PM | PERMALINK

Under the "American English law, use of the terms "colour", "organise", or "barbie" will be misdemeanors. Since this is, after all, Texas, use of the word "mate" instead of "y'all" will be a three strike felony, with either life imprisonment or execution as punishment for the third offense.

Existing criminal penalties for drinking beer warm or putting beans in chili will also be stiffened.

Posted by: Alex on June 6, 2006 at 12:09 AM | PERMALINK

Mike @ 5:05

we didn't

Posted by: jillbee on June 6, 2006 at 1:16 AM | PERMALINK

"Existing criminal penalties for drinking beer warm or putting beans in chili will also be stiffened."

And calling a cigarette a "fag" will mean the death penalty

Posted by: Botecelli on June 6, 2006 at 7:52 AM | PERMALINK

@ Mike that's not very nice@

Posted by: another Mike on June 6, 2006 at 9:20 AM | PERMALINK

"Texas: It's like a whole other country."

Yeah...Mexico.

What did Mexico do to deserve that?
Posted by: cmdicely

The classic lament is 'So far from God; so close to Texas'. After years of Texas despoilation of our resources, Louisianas are known to refer to our enormous neighbor to the west as 'Takes-us'.

Posted by: CFShep on June 6, 2006 at 10:38 AM | PERMALINK

Play Pacific Poker, available in several languages.

Posted by: Pacific Poker on June 6, 2006 at 10:46 AM | PERMALINK

Nowadays, apparently the difference between a liberal and a conservative is that a conservative wants a physical barrier separating Mexico from Texas while a liberal wants a physical barrier separating Texas from the rest of the United States.

Posted by: Thinker on June 6, 2006 at 11:22 AM | PERMALINK

OK I'll say it " I'm ashamed to say I am from Texas."

Posted by: neil on June 6, 2006 at 11:56 AM | PERMALINK

OK I'll say it " I'm ashamed to say I am from Texas."
Posted by: neil

Well what the hell...I happened have born on the West Bank of the Sabine myself - though in that little fragment of SE Tejas which is really part of the Cajun Triangle (some of us got adventurous while the Spanish ran the whole shooting match). That would Orange - which is NOT named for the fruit but for the little village in Provence...

Free Orange, Beaumont, and Port Arthur (whose annual festival is called 'Cajun Days')! Give us back the 'Golden Triangle', you big bully.

Posted by: CFShep on June 6, 2006 at 12:13 PM | PERMALINK

When I lived in Dallas the big deal was the wall they wanted to erect....on the TX-OK border...actually wanted it to be called the 'Great Wall of Texas'.

'But the real irony is that the administration had to bring in someone who can "soothe Wall Street," which is said to be "nervous." This whole administration has been run to favor, and grant tax breaks to, "Wall Street." How dare the ungrateful louses be "nervous"?' Molly Ivins

Posted by: CFShep on June 6, 2006 at 12:16 PM | PERMALINK

Well, there is the "Burning Bush" in the Hully Bobble; there is "Bushwa", as a dismissal via horse pebbles: there is "Bush-wacker", as in clearing the land of unwanted growth, as well as "Bushwacking", which leans toward unwarranted spying on American citizens; there is a line of a song that reads "...a Bush-el and a peck..."; there is "Out in the Bush" as a way of depicting someone who is totally lost; even the venerable Moses is named after a Bush. Sigh.

Posted by: frank halse on June 6, 2006 at 5:23 PM | PERMALINK

Look, the Dallas Morning News may have spun it funny , but any native born Texan considers Texas the Holy Land. Unfortunately, it's in the hands of the Enemy right now - the Texas Republican Party. (Which, I think, means we're in the midst of the Apocalypse right now - the forces of the Enemy massed on the plains of Megiddo.)

Posted by: markt4 on June 6, 2006 at 5:25 PM | PERMALINK




 

 

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