October 6, 2006
NAMES NOT TO HAVE....Steve Kroft of 60 Minutes has somehow gotten hold of a copy of the no-fly list used by airport authorities to screen for possible terrorists. So who's on the list?
Gary Smith, John Williams and Robert Johnson are some of those names. Kroft talked to 12 people with the name Robert Johnson, all of whom are detained almost every time they fly. The detentions can include strip searches and long delays in their travels.
"Well, Robert Johnson will never get off the list," says Donna Bucella, who oversaw the creation of the list and has headed up the FBIs Terrorist Screening Center since 2003. She regrets the trouble they experience, but chalks it up to the price of security in the post-9/11 world. "They're going to be inconvenienced every time ... because they do have the name of a person who's a known or suspected terrorist," says Bucella.
You know, I'll bet if there were some senator named Robert Johnson, the FBI would figure out a way to make this list a little more user-friendly. Maybe we should try to elect one.
—Kevin Drum 1:59 AM
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http://www.newswatch50.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=4030A744-CCB4-4AFE-8B2D-7F17281CDCCD
Posted by: Tip on October 6, 2006 at 2:05 AM | PERMALINK
According to this site Bucella has a history of being a less than stellar administrator.
Posted by: Ellen1910 on October 6, 2006 at 2:12 AM | PERMALINK
Al Gore and Ted Kennedy's names are on the list of terrorist, Kevin.
Far as I know, they have never been removed off the list.
Posted by: Cheryl on October 6, 2006 at 2:19 AM | PERMALINK
I'm on the list too! But everyone who has my name actually does have me to blame. Luckily my name is only common in the UK and Ireland. Doesn't effect Americans, doesn't matter, right?
p.s. The TCA list isn't so bad really. If you are ever late for a flight, just jump up and down saying you're on the list and you're going to miss your flight. They take pitty on you and let you cut in line. I actually pulled that this morning. It got me through security without a line too.
Posted by: enozinho (wetorture.com) on October 6, 2006 at 2:22 AM | PERMALINK
Robert Johnson can't fly?
That's all right. He's got a Terraplane.
Posted by: Winda Warren Terra on October 6, 2006 at 2:22 AM | PERMALINK
When I saw a headline about that this morning, I misread it as "No Flu" list.
Which isn't a bad idea. Maybe they should worry more about sickies flying than some of these potential passengers.
Posted by: KathyF on October 6, 2006 at 2:24 AM | PERMALINK
The no-fly list was never about preventing terrorism. It has always been about keeping the peons frightened. The sight of some poor sap getting yanked out of line at the airport helps maintain the illusion of a world filled with potential terrorists. They need to have everyone convinced there's a "ter'rist in every shadow". All they've done is change one word in their old BS and they've managed to run the same scam they ran in the 20's and the 50's using the word "commie". The sad part is that most of America has fallen for it like the most naive rubes imaginable.
Posted by: joe on October 6, 2006 at 2:26 AM | PERMALINK
Sorry, I mixed up the TCA watch list with the no-fly list. There is a difference right?
Posted by: enozinho (wetorture.com) on October 6, 2006 at 2:29 AM | PERMALINK
I'm hoping a new list from the Hague will soon include [our favorite war criminals' names here].
Posted by: parrot on October 6, 2006 at 2:29 AM | PERMALINK
If the Democrats had any brains at all they would use this to ridicule this administration. Half the population of the red states are named Smith, Williams, and Johnson.
Posted by: JS on October 6, 2006 at 2:54 AM | PERMALINK
I suppose then that true terrorists are incapable of obtaining false documents in this age of identity-theft?
Posted by: redtape on October 6, 2006 at 3:09 AM | PERMALINK
There is a Republican former leader of the Florida Senate named Robert Johnson, now retired. He's still around in political circles in Sarasota, where he represented and lives. Knows Jeb Bush, chummy with Kathrine Harris, all that jazz. A real nice guy, regardless. Wonder what he thinks of it.
Posted by: Mike on October 6, 2006 at 3:29 AM | PERMALINK
Upthread - this is a tactic to plant fear in the minds of the public, when some poor sap gets yanked out of line and dragged into "the room."
I have a slavic last name hyphenated to my husbands veddy veddy british last name, and a hebrew first name - I have been taken into "the room" three different times. Then I went and got a local state ID/"non-driver" license (My AZ license is good until I'm 65. I'm keepin the rockin' photo) with the anglicized common-usage version of my first name, and dropped the slavic part of my last name, and voila! No more searches and special scrutiny.
This was a perfectly legal opttion for me, but the odds are pretty slim that someone else could do the same thing. I tucked that official ID with my traveling papers and only use it for flights.
Diebold came into my polling place, and I started voting absentee.
Resistance may be futile, but it sure is fun.
Posted by: Global Citizen on October 6, 2006 at 3:33 AM | PERMALINK
>They're going to be inconvenienced every time
That's a reason to join the enemy you moron's.
Heck, I would never defend a country that had lists like that. You want to destroy those kinds of countries.
Hat tip to all hackers; Add ALL Americans to the list.
That'll shut down everything.
Posted by: James on October 6, 2006 at 4:25 AM | PERMALINK
Off-topic, but relevant to GC's ID: I've renewed my driver's license by mail three times, so my photo is twelve years old. The guy in the photo has a brown beard, whereas mine's almost completely white. I get the occasional comment.
I think Kennedy got around the name problem by using his full name instead of the colloquial version.
Posted by: bad Jim on October 6, 2006 at 4:29 AM | PERMALINK
Of course Robert Johnson can't get on a plane. The man sold his sold to the devil, fer crissakes, just to play the guitar. Listen to the damn lyrics.
Waitin' on a 757 to Memphis
Oh Mr. 757 pilot
won't you turn that plane around
A Mr. 757 pilot
You got to turn that plane on round
Said if you ain't turn back to Jackson
I gonna bring that airplane down
...
Posted by: brooksfoe on October 6, 2006 at 5:25 AM | PERMALINK
As if it weren't bad enough to have a hellhound on your tail.
Posted by: Tilli (Mojave Desert) on October 6, 2006 at 5:47 AM | PERMALINK
My name is really common. In any given telephone book, there are 4 or 5 of me. Hey, I am not only me, I am the quarterback of a noted football team, and many other famous people.
I sure am glad that none of me are terrorists. Because if we were, literally thousands of people would be really inconvenienced.
Posted by: POed Lib on October 6, 2006 at 7:04 AM | PERMALINK
I know some people think he scores can be bombastic, but that hardly makes John Williams a terrorist!
And sure BET is bad, but that still doesn't make its foudner, Robert Johnson, a terrorist.
Posted by: Rob on October 6, 2006 at 7:36 AM | PERMALINK
If only old Robert Johnson hadn't gone down to the crossroads and fell down on his knees....
Posted by: Eric Clapton on October 6, 2006 at 7:37 AM | PERMALINK
"Well, Robert Johnson will never get off the list," says Donna Bucella ...
This indicates on of four things is true:
1. The FBI will never catch and incarcerate the Robert Johnson who is a terrorist.
2. Should the terrorist Robert Johnson be killed or incarcerated a new terrorist, also named Robert Johnson, will spring into existance.
3. The one terrorist Robert Johnson is immortal
4. Even if Robert Johnson should be removed from society, his name will remain on the list.
All of these are patently false (he is not immortal) and/or indicate incompetence on the part of Donna Bucella.
Posted by: MSR on October 6, 2006 at 7:54 AM | PERMALINK
So what if they detain the Oscar-winning movie composer, John Williams? Maybe that would make enough of a stink?
More seriously, these names are on the list because they are statistically likely -- Smith, Johnson, and Williams are three of the top five most common surnames in America. This also makes it statistically likely that a lawmaker will have that name, eventually -- 'tis only a matter of thyme...
Posted by: Catfish N. Cod on October 6, 2006 at 8:07 AM | PERMALINK
If this weren't a partisan issue (and a partisan website), would Kevin really care?
Do you really think it's such a bad idea to have increased security and watch lists at our nations airports in a post 9-11 world? I understand it's an inconvenience, but I don't think doing away with the list is a good idea either.
Posted by: sportsfan79 on October 6, 2006 at 8:09 AM | PERMALINK
Hey, I am not only me, I am the quarterback of a noted football team,
POedLib is actually Ben Roethlisberger? Well, how 'bout that.
Posted by: Lex on October 6, 2006 at 8:32 AM | PERMALINK
Do you really think it's such a bad idea to have increased security and watch lists at our nations airports in a post 9-11 world?
These are the idiotic thoughts of the right wing in America. Whatever security measures the benevolent government of his majesty George Bush has seen fit to enact for us are the greatest terror fighting security measures ever. There can be no discussion of the relative effectiveness of stopping every Robert Johnson versus inspecting cargo at our ports because George Bush has done the first and not the second. And of course the second would be an inconvenience.
If democrats want a judge to give warrants to tap phones they are pro-terrorist and don't want to know what al-quaeda is up to.
If democrats want to try suspects in a court of law they are pro-terrorist and want to release terrorists in Nebraska.
Hey sportsfan79 - do you think that stopping every Robert Johnson is an effective use of Homeland Security dollars? Apparently you do.
Posted by: tomboy on October 6, 2006 at 8:36 AM | PERMALINK
And the real, terrifying Robert Johnson is probably traveling under another name.
Posted by: Concludor on October 6, 2006 at 8:38 AM | PERMALINK
AP-Updated: 4:45 p.m. ET Oct 5, 2006
BAGHDAD, Iraq - The Iraq war could be heading to its decisive moment: a battle for the capital of Baghdad that already has turned dramatically bloodier for American soldiers and carries enormous stakes for the countrys future.
Much of Baghdad is yet to be targeted in the joint U.S.-Iraqi pacification operation. Top commanders signaling the toughest fight is yet to come say they need six more Iraqi battalions, or 3,000 soldiers, to join the 30,000 Iraqi security forces and 15,000 Americans already in the city.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, let me get this straight in my mind. If not for lacking a .066% increase in their forces the combined American/Iraqi military could pacify Baghdad? They have 45,000 troops on the ground but until another 3000 are scraped up the residents of Baghdad will have to continue to endure living hell? And Bush wants victory in the Iraqi capital 3 weeks before the midterms probably more than he wants the see hungry pit bulls let loose on Bob Woodward and Colin Powell in a steel caged death match. But Bush just cant find 3000 more troops to get the job done? Why doesnt somebody call bullshit on this kind of reporting? Do you think the AP could bother to point out how ludicrous this is? Who are these top commanders and why is a 6 percent shortfall in troops the critical difference between quagmire and victory?
Posted by: steve duncan on October 6, 2006 at 8:38 AM | PERMALINK
What? No John Smith? I've heard he's the real ringleader.
Posted by: Speed on October 6, 2006 at 8:59 AM | PERMALINK
Robert Johnson would be the author of "Hellhound on my Trail" the famous Al Qaeda drinking song.
Posted by: humble blogger on October 6, 2006 at 9:09 AM | PERMALINK
You libs can never be happy. You always whine that Bush is not asking you to make sacrifices for the war, and when the government asks you to give a little in terms of slight inconvenience, you go ballistic.
Posted by: Jay on October 6, 2006 at 9:15 AM | PERMALINK
Is that notorious David Nelson still listed on the no-fly list -- the son of those notorious terrorists whose wholesome entertainment subverted the television airwaves of the 1950's & 60's (Ozzie & Harriet Nelson)?
Posted by: Ray Waldren on October 6, 2006 at 9:24 AM | PERMALINK
Christ almighty.
It's not rocket science. They ought to have Dates of Birth on there ANYWAY, to deal with the fact that Arabic names can be transliterated about 500 ways. If they don't know Robert-Johnson-the-suspected-terrorist's DOB, they can tell screeners: "but NOT Robert Johnson the innocent businessman, who's date of birth is..."
Posted by: Katherine on October 6, 2006 at 9:31 AM | PERMALINK
This watchlist has probably caught thousands of felons and deadbeat dads since 9/11. Smith, Johnson, and Williams are some of the most commonly used aliases used by criminals to travel in obscurity.
If I was in charge of the list, I'd add Garcia, Rodriguez, Hernandez, Gonzalez, Martinez, Perez, Lee, Wong, Chan, Chang, Liu, Brown, Davis, Miller, Young, and King. I'd also look into folks with obviously made up first names like Yoyo or Couch. Especially those with prefixes and suffixes just stuck on (De-, Ja-, Tri-, Wa-, Sha-, -on, -won, -quon, -el, -ell). Cultural mismatches like Chien Wilson or Edwin Perez should raise immediate suspicion.
Posted by: Jay on October 6, 2006 at 9:38 AM | PERMALINK
Sportsfan
Kevin didn't say get rid of the list, he suggested improving it.
For instance, when people obviously don't match the physical characteristics of the terrorist Robert Johnson they shouldn't be detained.
A friend of mine was taking a group of high school kids from a Catholic school on a spring break field trip to the south to study the events in the Civil Rights movement. A 15 year old boy had a name like "Hector Garcia" and that name was on the watch list. The boy was detained at security. How young would he have to be before they realized he wasn't a terrorist? Nine? Three?
Does that make me feel safer? No, because Homeland Security is wasting it's time checking out people who can't possibly be the terrorist.
So why not make the system smarter?
Posted by: tomeck on October 6, 2006 at 9:40 AM | PERMALINK
If I was in charge of the list, I'd add Garcia, Rodriguez, Hernandez, Gonzalez, Martinez, Perez, Lee, Wong, Chan, Chang, Liu, Brown, Davis, Miller, Young, and King.
Thankfully, we don't let dumbasses like you run things.
The point of the list is to keep terrorists off planes; terrorists now know this and won't travel under their own name; hence, throw the list away.
It's called common sense, people.
Posted by: Pale Rider on October 6, 2006 at 9:42 AM | PERMALINK
Let's add Jay to the terrorist watch list too!
Posted by: tomeck on October 6, 2006 at 9:43 AM | PERMALINK
Do you really think it's such a bad idea to have increased security and watch lists at our nations airports in a post 9-11 world? I understand it's an inconvenience, but I don't think doing away with the list is a good idea either.
The list is useless.
The list--a method that would have worked in the pre-9/11 world--is useless in the post-9/11 world. A pre-9/11 tool isn't going to prevent anything now.
I have no problem taking my shoes off, waiting in line, etc., but let's use some common sense.
Here's a hint to everyone paralyzed with fear: if a human being makes up their mind to destroy something, they're going to destroy it. We can enact all kinds of common sense ways to deter that, but in the end, the next terrorist attack is probably impossible to predict or prevent and a lot of people are going to die. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Now, if you want to make the case that we need to be prepared, fine. We should have more first responders. Beyond that, you're screwed, buddy. If you're scared, stay home and hide under the bed. If not, enjoy life and deal with whatever happens.
Posted by: Pale Rider on October 6, 2006 at 9:51 AM | PERMALINK
Just wonderin' - is anyone named Studds on the list?
Posted by: stupid git on October 6, 2006 at 9:54 AM | PERMALINK
People who only use their surname initials should also be on the "Security Theatre" no fly list.
Posted by: Bill H. on October 6, 2006 at 9:57 AM | PERMALINK
Donna Bucella must be a political appointee.
Posted by: ET on October 6, 2006 at 9:58 AM | PERMALINK
I got stopped last week because my name was on The List. Wasn't too bad, really, just took an extra 15 minutes for the ticket agent to get approval. But it does make you wonder about this whole idea. Idiocy.
Can we add Al to The List?
Posted by: Jim Smith on October 6, 2006 at 10:00 AM | PERMALINK
Let's add Jay to the terrorist watch list too!
No way, man! It's embarrassing enough to share a handle with an assclown troll - you want to make trouble for all the rest of us???
Posted by: Jay C on October 6, 2006 at 10:08 AM | PERMALINK
I deliberately spilled tomato juice on the air marshall seated next to me on a Dallas flight.
Well, that's pretty fucking obnoxious there, charles. Did you follow that up by flipping the bird to some pigs?
Oh, wait - I must have missed the headline in the Times: "AMERICAN FREEDOM RESCUED; Internet Surfer Spills Beverage on Public Employee, Averting Dictatorship."
Posted by: brooksfoe on October 6, 2006 at 10:10 AM | PERMALINK
A question: is Keyser Soze on the list? Because in his case, the physical profile wouldn't help. That dude can make himself look like anyone, man.
Posted by: brooksfoe on October 6, 2006 at 10:12 AM | PERMALINK
Did you ever think of getting your name changed? There's nothing much latinos can do cause they sort of look middle eastern, but it should work for white people.
Posted by: Jay on October 6, 2006 at 10:12 AM | PERMALINK
If I was on that plane I would have donated my belt to help tie Charles to his seat.
Posted by: Jay on October 6, 2006 at 10:15 AM | PERMALINK
I deliberately spilled tomato juice on the air marshall seated next to me on a Dallas flight.
Yeah!!! You really stuck it to The Man!!! The subversive effect of using tomato juice as a weapon, that's right up there with throwing blood on a politician, man!!!
Or not.
Posted by: Pale Rider on October 6, 2006 at 10:17 AM | PERMALINK
I tried that, but they kept stopping me anyway. I'd get right up to the X-ray machine just fine, no problem, I take my Glock out of the shoulder holster and put it on the conveyor belt like any responsible citizen, and bam -- I'm being questioned by the DHS guys. I have no idea what the problem is.
Posted by: Al on October 6, 2006 at 10:17 AM | PERMALINK
There's nothing much latinos can do cause they sort of look middle eastern, but it should work for white people.
Yeah, don't even hide the fact that you're a racist idiot of the first order.
Jay, we love ya, man. Just when there aren't any useful idiots about to make a larger point, whoa--there you are, posting away like a maniac, giving everyone a perfect example of what not to say in public.
[clap, clap, clap]
Posted by: Pale Rider on October 6, 2006 at 10:24 AM | PERMALINK
Leave me out of this.
Posted by: Robert Johnson on October 6, 2006 at 10:39 AM | PERMALINK
So, let me get this straight in my mind. If not for lacking a .066% increase in their forces the combined American/Iraqi military could pacify Baghdad?
Another 3,000 when you already have 45,000 is a 6.67% increase, not a 0.066% increase.
Posted by: cmdicely on October 6, 2006 at 10:42 AM | PERMALINK
The seven percent solution! Rounding up.
Posted by: brooksfoe on October 6, 2006 at 10:44 AM | PERMALINK
So why not make the system smarter?
Because the system exists to remind people that the war on terrorism is real, not too catch terrorists. If it aws focussed on catching terrorists, it wouldn't serve that purpose.
Posted by: cmdicely on October 6, 2006 at 10:45 AM | PERMALINK
This is why I have named my children John F. Kennedy and Condoleezza Rice.
Posted by: Al on October 6, 2006 at 10:47 AM | PERMALINK
What's completely idiotic about this is that the Arabic names of actual terrorists can be transcribed into English with many different spellings, thereby bypassing any sort of watchlist that doesn't account for every single variation. For example, the name "Ahmed" can also be spelled "Achmed," "Ahmad," "Achmad," etc., while "Mahmoud" can turn into "Machmoud," "Mechmoud," "Mehmoud," "Mehmud," "Mahmud," ad infinitum.
Posted by: Stefan on October 6, 2006 at 10:51 AM | PERMALINK
If I was on that plane I would have donated my belt to help tie Charles to his seat.
I thought it took a 12 year-old girl to get you out of your pants...
Posted by: Pale Rider on October 6, 2006 at 10:52 AM | PERMALINK
And meanwhile the bin Laden family continues to fly hither and yon....
Posted by: Stefan on October 6, 2006 at 11:02 AM | PERMALINK
Jay C
OK, we'll just make it plain old Jay, no second name, on the list. Then you'll be fine.
Posted by: tomeck on October 6, 2006 at 11:05 AM | PERMALINK
Oh no! It's the Vagina Monologue.
That's it.
Read David Brooks today.
It should be free in San Diego Union Tribune.
Posted by: gregor on October 6, 2006 at 11:08 AM | PERMALINK
Because the system exists to remind people that the war on terrorism is real, not too catch terrorists. If it aws focussed on catching terrorists, it wouldn't serve that purpose.
Plus, if you caught all those terrorists, what would the GOP have to campaign on?
Posted by: phleabo on October 6, 2006 at 11:09 AM | PERMALINK
Plus, if you caught all those terrorists, what would the GOP have to campaign on?
Anti-pedophillia?
Posted by: gregor on October 6, 2006 at 11:16 AM | PERMALINK
The names cited are not common in the Middle East. It should be obvious to the TSA, but isn't, that any potential terrorist with names like Moore or Johnson is using an alias, which will be discarded when the flight ends. In other words, the no-fly exists simply to keep people who AREN'T a threat from using airplanes.
Posted by: JMG on October 6, 2006 at 11:27 AM | PERMALINK
I wonder if the trolls ever reflect on the fact that nearly all liberal blogs (Daily Kos being a notable exception) have open commenting systems, while most right-wing blogs are registration-only (and some like Redstate will purge people for failing to follow the party line). Ever think about that, trolls?
Posted by: Speed on October 6, 2006 at 11:31 AM | PERMALINK
gregor,
I believe the current slogan of the GOP is:
Vote Republican - Some of us are not pedophiles.
Posted by: stupid git on October 6, 2006 at 11:35 AM | PERMALINK
Reflect? Think? What do you mean, exactly?
Posted by: Winger Trolls on October 6, 2006 at 11:36 AM | PERMALINK
I don't know about terrorists named "Jeffrey Davis" but there are enough fugitives and criminals with the name that I've learned to add 20 minutes extra to the time needed to get through security on international flights.
-Have you ever been in Mississippi, Mr. Davis?
-Have you ever been in Missouri, Mr. Davis?
etc. etc.
I Googled up the Mississippi Jeffrey Davis they were looking for. Hmmm. Not exactly a strong resemblance there.
So, in the midst of the inconvenience this crap entails, take away this comfort: despite the evaporation of freedom and the government's 1984 intrusiveness, the humans in charge of this stuff are often as dumb as a squashed toad. Actually, I don't know if that's comforting exactly, but it's at least nice to know there are natural limits on what the gov't can do.
Posted by: Jeffrey Davis on October 6, 2006 at 11:37 AM | PERMALINK
Why does Kevin want to elect a terrorist to the Senate?
Posted by: Pandu on October 6, 2006 at 11:48 AM | PERMALINK
Then there is this from the BBC.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/5413462.stm
A US no-fly list used to try to prevent terror attacks includes the names of 14 of the long-dead 11 September hijackers, US news channel CBS reports.
Jailed former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein also features on the list, which has been seen by CBS's 60 Minutes programme.
The names of Bolivian president Evo Morales and Lebanon's parliamentary speaker, Nabih Berri, also appear.
Posted by: ET on October 6, 2006 at 11:50 AM | PERMALINK
Wouldn't work. Senators don't fly commercial. They fly private, corporate jets.
Posted by: lindata on October 6, 2006 at 11:50 AM | PERMALINK
I don't get it:
-If Mr. Johnson is a known terrorist, why don't they ARREST him when he gets to the security checkpoint.
-Conversely, if he's a SUSPECTED terrorist, why don't they - you know - INVESTIGATE him and either CLEAR him (off the the list) or ARREST him.
I don't understand how he and all his namesakes stay on the list forever...
Posted by: dukej on October 6, 2006 at 11:52 AM | PERMALINK
Its a good thing our incompetence is only matched by our enemies. Because Al Qaida could really fuck with America just based on the "security" we put in place.
Just generate some false plots with common american names to get "captured" in terrorist safe houses in Iraq or Afghanistan or pakistan. Make the no fly list afffect hundreds of thousands of people.
Have one of the plots involve explosives hidden rectally. I mean, we can't take nail files onto planes because of 9/11, we can't take a weeks worth of toiletries onto the plane because of a bullshit plot Al Qaida probably had nothing to do with, and we all get our shoes searched from Richard Reid.
What are they going to do about rectal bombs (even if they don't actually exist)? What will that screening be like?
Our country is run by morons. A vigilant, empowered population not relying on the Daddy-state to come up with dumber and ineffective "protection" schemes would be so much more useful than 3 million dollar explosive-residue-on clothes-detectors in every airport, detectors that can be defeated by spending $20 for new clothes at Wal-mart before getting on the plane. Hell, they probably sell a change of clothes in the airport malls.
I knew a Jeffrey Davis in high school. Good guy.
Posted by: Mysticdog on October 6, 2006 at 11:56 AM | PERMALINK
There's more to the Robert Johnson story. He's a former Army Colonel who has been very outspoken against the war in Iraq and even ran for Congress as a Democrat on that platform.
He believes that's why he suddenly made it on the list, as he had no trouble flying before that.
http://archive.pressrepublican.com/Archive/2006/02_2006/022320061.htm
Posted by: eh on October 6, 2006 at 12:10 PM | PERMALINK
Half the population of the red states are named Smith, Williams, and Johnson. Posted by: JS
And, of course, they are all related. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
OT, but come to think of it, this may actually help the Rethugs and their problem with Foley. Hey, I saw that X-Files episode.
Mommy under bed
Posted by: JeffII on October 6, 2006 at 12:15 PM | PERMALINK
The pride...the love.....
Posted by: Stefan on October 6, 2006 at 12:21 PM | PERMALINK
This is off-topic, but what the hell? Missouri has a State Rep named Jason Brown - he's a Republican, but so what? and represents the nothwest part of the KC Metro area - he is also a Staff Sgt. in the Army reserves. He was seriously wounded in a sniper attack in Baghdad yesterday.
Posted by: Global Citizen on October 6, 2006 at 12:25 PM | PERMALINK
My sister-in-law is a crabby complainer, who gave shit to airport securtiy right after 9/11. She has been on the list ever since.
Posted by: Hostile on October 6, 2006 at 12:25 PM | PERMALINK
My sister in law is just a nasty bitch - and if I could get her on the list and keep her at least three states away from me, i would be all for it.
Posted by: Global Citizen on October 6, 2006 at 12:26 PM | PERMALINK
I think Kennedy got around the name problem by using his full name instead of the colloquial version.
So all the terrorist Robert Johnson has to do is to book his flight as Bob Johnson. Right? How effective that no-fly rule is! And if he's a terrorist, he might have fake papers with a different name? Right? Geez!
Posted by: David in NY on October 6, 2006 at 12:42 PM | PERMALINK
My sister in law is just a nasty bitch - and if I could get her on the list and keep her at least three states away from me, i would be all for it.
Posted by: Global Citizen
Given that the entirety of DHS is run on an ad hoc basis, I wonder how many poor souls have ended up on the list because of the little "prank" of someone turning his or her name over to the good folks at TSA as someone to be "watched"?
Posted by: JeffII on October 6, 2006 at 12:46 PM | PERMALINK
Robert Johnson is also the name of the District Attorney for the Bronx. He's black, too. Can't wait to see the kerfuffle when he flies somewhere.
Posted by: CJColucci on October 6, 2006 at 1:05 PM | PERMALINK
I'd like to see someone try to detain my very cranky 82 year old ex-father in law, Robert Johnson.
Posted by: E. Henry Thripshaw on October 6, 2006 at 1:13 PM | PERMALINK
My "favorite" (so to speak) stupid no-fly list story is that of Johnnie Lockett Thomas, a 71-year-old black woman who keeps being stopped at the airport because a guy who killed his family a few years back who is now in custody used an alias of John Thomas Christopher.
She's found it almost impossible to convince the TSA that she is not a six-foot-tall white man in disguise as a 71-year-old black woman:
http://tinyurl.com/rgagq
Posted by: Mnemosyne on October 6, 2006 at 1:24 PM | PERMALINK
You can add James Smith to the list - from personal experience.
Posted by: DeputyDog on October 6, 2006 at 1:43 PM | PERMALINK
I wonder how likely it is that the "real" Robert Johnson will change their name. The various online white pages have a limit on the returns; the longest list I found returned 300+ Robert Johnsons.
Posted by: Bill Arnold on October 6, 2006 at 2:09 PM | PERMALINK
I think that the following names should be added to the list:
Victor Von Doom
Lex Luthor
Otto Octavius
Oswald Cobblepot
Robert Bruce Banner
Auric Goldfinger
James Moriarty
Arsene Lupin
--because, you know, if any of THEM get on a plane, we're really in trouble!
Posted by: pbg on October 6, 2006 at 2:15 PM | PERMALINK
Given that the entirety of DHS is run on an ad hoc basis, I wonder how many poor souls have ended up on the list because of the little "prank" of someone turning his or her name over to the good folks at TSA as someone to be "watched"?
Exactly. Like the poor souls in Guantanamo who were turned in because someone didn't like them and needed the bounty money for a few new donkeys.
Or the people in the Iraqi prison system whose neighbors didn't care for their religious or political views and told someone an interesting story.
Welcome to the new global snitch society, brought to you by the Soviets but given a freedomistic makeover by the good 'ol US of A.
Posted by: eh on October 6, 2006 at 2:27 PM | PERMALINK
Man, am I glad to have the name I do.
Posted by: Yancey Ward on October 6, 2006 at 2:34 PM | PERMALINK
I was a little concerned at first and thought that maybe I'd need to change my name. But then I thought, nah, it's not like they're actually looking for me.
Posted by: Osama bin Laden on October 6, 2006 at 2:39 PM | PERMALINK
pbg,
You forgot that bastard Largo!
Posted by: Pale Rider on October 6, 2006 at 2:40 PM | PERMALINK
Suppose a terrorist named Ali Muhammad changes his name to All American Robert Johnson and tries to pass through security. Whamo, he gets nabbed. Is that the idea?
Posted by: ecoast on October 6, 2006 at 2:45 PM | PERMALINK
Well somebody in the TSA has a great sense of humor.
According to the US Census Bureau, the three most frequent last names in the USA are Smith, Johnson, and Williams. Here is the complete list (name, percent, cumulative percent, rank).
Posted by: JS on October 6, 2006 at 3:39 PM | PERMALINK
Another 3,000 when you already have 45,000 is a 6.67% increase, not a 0.066% increase.
Posted by: cmdicely on October 6, 2006 at 10:42 AM | PERMALINK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damn, I keep dividing 3000 by 45000 and no matter how many times I do it the calculator insists on spitting out 0.066666666. cmdicely, what am I doing wrong?
Posted by: steve duncan on October 6, 2006 at 4:23 PM | PERMALINK
Damn, I keep dividing 3000 by 45000 and no matter how many times I do it the calculator insists on spitting out 0.066666666.
Your calculator is quite correct. Also, if you divide 45000 by 45000, you'll get 1.0.
cmdicely, what am I doing wrong?
It would seem that your problem is that you don't understand what the symbol "%" means. 0.06 = 6 / 100 = 6%. Not 0.06%.
Do you think 45,000 is 1% of 45,000, too?
Posted by: cmdicely on October 6, 2006 at 4:30 PM | PERMALINK
Darn. My name is Gary Smith. Explains why I can never get through a security line unscathed, and why I now drive everywhere.
I'm lucky, though. My brother's name is John Smith.
All true!
Posted by: Gary Smith on October 6, 2006 at 4:42 PM | PERMALINK
Of course Robert Johnson is on the no-fly list! He made a deal with old Satan himself, out at the crossroads.
Posted by: Mooser on October 6, 2006 at 5:39 PM | PERMALINK
I was a little concerned at first and thought that maybe I'd need to change my name. But then I thought, nah, it's not like they're actually looking for me.
OBL
Great line. All too true, too.
Posted by: tomeck on October 7, 2006 at 7:24 AM | PERMALINK
They can keep every John Smith for repeated strip searches regardless of his address and how many times he's had the once over... but they can't prevent federal prisoners up on terrorism charges from exchanging letters relevant to their life's work...(for lack of translators?)...
Remind me again why we should expect these people to be capable of producing something like peace and freedom in Iraq?
Tell me again that they even care.
Government should be very, very small...and if we want it to do the essentials well, it must not do anything else.
Posted by: Dave Meleney on October 7, 2006 at 10:00 AM | PERMALINK
Maybe 'Robert Johnson' is like 'Dread Pirate Roberts' from the movie The Princess Bride.
Of course, ever since my own incredibly common Anglo-American name, shared with a minor pop star of the 70s, went on the list, I've been wondering when it was that someone at TSA decided that tearists were using names from record jackets and phone books, and why they thought putting them all on a list would help. Occassionally I imagine an office temp padding his hours on a slow afternoon by adding whatever names he could find in his cubicle to the list.
Of course, if I mail sufficient documentation to commit identity theft to a PO Box at TSA, they will supposedly add me to ANOTHER list, which they supposedly check to know if the first listing is bogus. As if that makes it better.
I get delayed every time I fly, and I can't check in online anymore. But it could be worse: at least the counter agents don't ask me to sing "'65 Love Affair."
Posted by: biggerbox on October 7, 2006 at 4:06 PM | PERMALINK
The no-fly list works perfectly! Let me give you an example. The company I work for is being driven into bankruptcy by increased competition. The competition is coming from people who wish to terrorise us. And if you don't think business failure is terrifying, you're probably a terrorist, too! Since we felt terrorised, we reported the names of every single employee of the competing firms who is likely to travel to the DHS. To make a short story even shorter, the sales and expansion plans of the competition has gone straight to hell- missed planes, and many salesman so hassled they're afraid to fly.
Our business failure will most likely be averted.
Go USA! Go GWOT! Go no-fly list.
I suggest this stratergery to anyone who has business competition- make the DHS your ally, you won't believe how well it works.
If your competition has any business or family connection, and if you donate to Republicans, it works even better!
Posted by: Mooser on October 7, 2006 at 5:41 PM | PERMALINK
If your competition has any business or family connection to the Middle East, I meant to say.
Posted by: Mooser on October 7, 2006 at 5:43 PM | PERMALINK