Conservatives who think aren't really conservatives any more.

Personally I'd like a president who likes soccer.

As long as he isn't name Kerry.

Clinton was a Rhodes scholar.

I'm not sure what GWB majored in at Yale.

It'd be nice to restore intellectual discourse

on any number of levels in the Whitehouse.

Fuzzy Math.

Is our children learning?

How much is a brazilian?

Don't misunderestimate...

Sheesh.

I think lists like these are more than a little silly; it's like cheap cotton-candy filler, pretending to be thoughtful. and the least is designed perfectly so that everyone will find a) something they agree with, b) something that ticks them off, and c) something where one wonders if the guy has a point or not.

personally, as a progressive-thinking casual golfer, who doesn't care for cigars, prefers cats, but loves football and doesn't bowl . . . i.e. what am I supposed to do with this list?

Spaceballs did suck by the way ... but even that movie had some chuckles . . .

>I>Sweet and Lo Down has Sean Penn's greatest performance. (And is a really good movie, to boot.)

I took the list to be indicative not exclusive.

For a chubby law professor, though, the interests he professes are invariably sedentary, I mean, my god, he doesn't even get sweaty (pretending to) procreate.
This guy'll weigh 300 lbs. soon and his interests will be necessities given his immobility.

Dream criteria: must know all about Aunt May and Uncle Ben --and not because he saw it in a movie.

Stephen Bainbridge claims to be a conservative, but I'm not so sure after reading this list.

What an anti-Southern bigot Bainbridge is. What's the problem with NASCAR? My favorite racer is Republican Jeff Gordon. My favorite movie is Red Dawn. Remember the part where the freedom fighting Americans would rather die with a gun in his hand than live under the tyranny of jackbooted communist thugs?
I would rather shop at Walmart rather than Cost-Co or the Socialist Hugo Chavez owned Citgo. Brit Hume is better than Dan Rather. And America is better than France. That is what true Americans believe in.

I'm afraid cigar smokers are not risk-averse enough for me, at least if they are personally able to start a nukyular war. mouth cancer for you, ok, mushroom cloud for me, not ok.

Well, W is no more Southern than I am, and I've lived here 21 years. What Bainbridge totally misses is not that Presidents have been from the south, but that both houses of Congress were dominated by Southerns for several generations, right up to and including Tom Delay and Mitch McConnel.

Besides, you can't have Southern Goodole Boy culture without Guns, God and Pickup Trucks.

I'm not sure what GWB majored in at Yale.

1968: BA History Yale University

1974 ('76?): MBA Harvard Business School

Al: That is what true Americans believe in.

Our country, right or wrong? Nice. Atleast you're not claiming any moral high ground on this one. I, for one, would prefer working toward bettering my homeland than simply settling for the status quo.

For a chubby law professor, though, the interests he professes are invariably sedentary

In his defense, much of the guy's weblog discusses wine and food. And really, are you ever going to trust the advice of a self-proclaimed epicurean who's thin?

I'll settle for a president who has two functioning synapses, after this retard.

Until the American people get to watch Bush and Cheney doing a “perp walk� , I won't be a happy camper.

A candidate who can talk about... about... well - OK, a candidate who can talk!

Even Bush's few remaining supporters still reply "Yeah, but what he meant was..."

Good point, an epicurean president would be a step up. At the least, he'd understand what all the silverware is for at a white-tie dinner (work from the outside in, I'm told).
And he'd know not to invade a country with no good restaurants left.

Won't wink at the Queen

What is this?

Could it be disdain for the great redneck wonder, Dubya?

I feel certain that the Queen Mum must surely have cringed inside at dear ole nasty Dubya's little wink. AND I wondered if Dubya, knowing full well the Queen Mum would hate it, so did so intentionally, because after all didn't Dubya and his security entourage wreak havoc upon the Queen Mum’s royal castle and gardens, and thus the Queen Mum must have held Dubya in no high regard.

And Bush, of course, hates anyone who dislikes him, juvenile to the end.

Dubya has always been a nasty little maggot and always social inept but isn't that what all those Repugs love about Dubya. I mean, don’t those Southern’s like Dubya for his crude nasty ways and thus identify Dubya as one of their own beer drunken imbeciles? You know, while the entire rest of world and MOST Americans find Dubya completely repugnant.

And isn't that why Republicans are know as Repugs, because they are disgusting, nasty people who claim to be Christian while embrace all Bush criminal behaviors. The unbid contracts, the way Bush got nasty with Ms. Plame, Wilson's wife, and Bush's love of torture, his wiretapping, his always incompetent appointies, etc, etc.

Thanks Kevin, I love being taken to blogs I would never normally visit.

Doesn't Rudy best fit this guy's criteria?

Surprise! The closest one to Kevin Drum's dream candidate is J Edwards, but HusseinObama and Bi;; Richardson give him a run for his money. All three are quite cultured and refined, prefering DoubleMochaFrappicinis to a "cup o' joe". No Bud for them: a fine Zinfanddel is all they need.

While J Edwards' hairstyle has won reknown, BHussein isn't far behind, enjoying pedicures from the Salon d'Oro on RodeoDrive: the same as PaulaAbdul uses. And, of course, BillRichardson's LuxurySpa treatments are legendary and include lots of RolfingSessions.

Go Dems go!

I wouldn't mind the Curt Schilling reference, if the candidate knew that Schilling's best years actually came with the Phillies and Diamondbacks (only Ivy Leaguers and the Manhattan literary crowd primarily think of Schilling as a member of the Red Sox, but since they run the world, alas...).

I suspect TLB doesn't bathe regularly.

...given his aversion to personal grooming.

(here's someone who ups the ante on Sheryl Crow's "one tissue" policy)

I would like a president, who before being elected, had a combined family income of under 100K and a net worth under 500K (a million if he/she owns a house in California). Have we elected a president from the "middle class" in the last 100 years?

Al: "...America is better than France. That is what true Americans believe in."

The idea that you have any say over what constitutes true Americanism is, happily, as absurd as the notion that you anyone but your mother (God bless her) would ever give you a home.

Still, it is always good to let children express themselves. Want a cookie?

Truman.

this list notwithstanding, don't doubt Prof. Bainbridge's conservative credentials; they are rock solid. I met him once or twice while I was a law student at UCLA, and if I remember correctly, he is a very devout Catholic and a present or former member of Opus Dei.

FYI Me_again,

The Queen Mum has been dead for several years now. The Queen Mother was the title for Elizabeth II's mother.

Just sayin'.

Prince Roy at-large: a present or former member of Opus Dei.

...Some of the country's best- known conservatices have been pegged as Opus Dei sympathizers or friends: Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Robert Bork, Republican senators Rick Santorum and Sam Brownback, form Information Awarenesss Office director John M. Poindexter and TV pundits Lawrence Kudlow and Robert Novak....

His list would be pompous if it were less silly.

jcricket, I had seen that and thought it might be a little arcane to most US readers. Anyway she was a good old battle-axe that tottered on for years, and the Queen seems pretty spry in the same way. Bless 'em both.

Anyway, just love this childish US is better than France drivel. Ask a Frenchy what he thinks? And Blair just said that Britain is the best.

About as mindless as calling out the most correct Christian denomination.

Well, that's even more mindless. At least there are measurable indices for comparison between countries. All depends how you weight them.

You could try this: Best and worst countries, 2006.

And I know in 2005 The Economist had the same idea with Eire coming out comfortably ahead, but I could only find subscription access just now.

If your in the bottom 35% you are almost certainly better off in any of the other developed western economies, with health care, education, social safety nets, etc. Not knowing all the ins and outs of tax law and high income, I'd still guess that the US is not a shoo-in for the top 10% earners.

Better over all if there was a little less national jingoism and xenophia. Those were two strings that boy-wonder pulled on to get us in this fine mess.

Notthere,

I doubt if the Boy Wonder even knows what jingoism and xenophobia are, but Darth and the neo-con cabal sure relied on it, esp after 9/11.

The best and worst countries to live in only count if you have economic options. For those of us in the middle class...we have to fight to get our country back. Our health care, our DoJ and Habeas Corpus, and....even some form of integrity back in the White House. We grew up with ideals that have been shat upon by the current resident of the White House and his cronies. No more.

It all starts with Waxman. God bless him.

Can recite at least one Monty Python skit from memory

Isn't this in the constitution already? I thought it was mandatory for all citizens.

I've always found Monty Python skit reciters rather cringe-inducing.

Even back in the day.

Al: "My favorite movie is Red Dawn."

What a coincidence. I actually saw that movie for the first time ever the other might on AMC.

Without question, Red Dawn has to be one of the most embarrassing, asinine pieces of Cold War paranoia ever put to celluloid.

But then, you're obviously beyond any sense of embarrassment.

TheDeadlyShoe: "I thought it was mandatory for all citizens."

Not the entire Monty Python repertoire -- only The Lumberjack Song.

I've always found Monty Python skit reciters rather cringe-inducing.

You don't have to recite it; just be able to. It's the principle thing.

Donald - Ah, that was it. :)

Bainbridge is shilling for Ghouliani, who is, of course, a walking-talking Monty Python skit...

I would think if this bozo thinks Woody Allen is old-hat and fey, the same would apply to Monty Python.

Tom--

Yes Clinton was a Rhodes Scholar. The question is, did he ever figure out what the word is is?

Democrats often argue among themselves over whether they can win a national election without the South. But does anyone seriously believe that the Republicans can win a national election without the South?

I wonder if Jim Gibbons has seen the list. It might explain the NV govenor's propensity for getting pepper sprayed after drinking a few beers.

In other words, is a Northern redneck.

Great, just what we need: a president with snobbish tastes in food and wine, but is othewise the cultural equivalent of a neanderthal.

Instead, here are my list of "wants" in the next president"

1) can speak second language -- a third is even better
2) keeps his/her religion to themselves
3) reads . . . a lot
4) listens . . . a lot
5) doesn't think sex is "icky", but doesn't want to be president just to get laid
6) understands that the thing Americans have contributed to the world of music is jazz and blues -- and understands that it is better to promote this as "American culture" instead of monopolies, bad movies and "24".

Bainbridge is definitely a conservative--in an Andrew Sullivan sort of way. One of the things I like best about him is his loathing for the Confederacy, and those who still sympathize with the "lost cause."

" (only Ivy Leaguers and the Manhattan literary crowd primarily think of Schilling as a member of the Red Sox...)"

Or Red Sox fans. :) I'm not sure I'd want the guy over for dinner, but 2004 was awesome! Though I did like watching the D-Backs beat the Yankees in 2001. BTW, I'm not sure I get his reference to Schilling anyway. Since when do Southerners follow the Sox (or Phillies, or D-Backs) instead of College Football?

"Only drinks beer with foods that would score at least 10,000 on the Scoville scale"

Snob. Obviously isn't into the craft beer scene.

Nope, I tried but I only give a f#$k about things related to the job -- which a few of these things do -- memory, humor, diplomacy, judgement, empathy, having seen a river, etc.

If you do invite Schilling over for dinner, be sure to not talk politics, as he is very much a Repug.

One interesting, well, to me at least, was a comment by a poster below the Bainbridge article. Ever read or see something, seemingly for the first time, only to see and/or read about that item within a very short period of time thereafter. Well, one of comments was about their dislike for Goldens - In mentioning other retrievers, he suggested the Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever - I had just seen this name on a license plate frame the day before. The Washington State driver had personalized plates which read "Duck Dawg".

What is it with conservative men and their sci-fi? (Subject for another thread.) I'd rather have a candidate that can discuss the merits of 'Deadwood' and 'The Sopranos', and Alfred Hitchcock movies.

I live with two golden retreivers and a big fat housecat. Can't we all just get along?

Mr. Bainbridge, shut the hell up!

As usual, it falls to me to explain what a conservative is. A conservative is someone who is not going to take your money and give it to the poor, who wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. A conservative is someone who is going to keep America safe and a liberal is someone who hates America, wants to surrender before the first shot is fired, and can't keep their lies straight.

Bainbridge lists these items, and I shall take exception with them at my leisure:

Update: In fact, as long as we're on the subject of useless Presidential criteria, here's some more things I'd like to see in the next President:

Knows which wine to match with the foie gras-stuffed quail being served at a state dinner

First of all, a cultured person does not have to "know" these things. A cultured person PAYS someone to make a choice which is successful and well-received by guests. I am too busy with real, meaningful details to care about wine choices.

Won't wink at the Queen

I wouldn't sit down to break bread with royalty. Royalty are an anachronism. Business leaders are the real royalty--those are the people I would dine with and wink at.

Doesn't hunt, fish, or go with girls who do

Show me a man who cannot fish and I'll show you a whiny, pathetic liberal who fears "icky" things.

Smokes cigars

Bleh.

Is sometimes accused of having a metrosexual streak

Vitalis. That's what you need for your hair. Anything else is weird and that's all I have to say about that.

Only drinks beer with foods that would score at least 10,000 on the Scoville scale

Ugh. Who cares? If you're drinking beer after 5pm, can we logically assume the plant burned down and you don't have a job no more?

Can credibly debate the relative claims of The Matrix, Star Wars, Bladerunner, and Star Trek II to be the greatest science fiction movie of all time

Planet of the Apes, with Chuck Heston, is the greatest science fiction movie of all time.

Can credibly debate the relative claims of The Who and Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band to be the world's greatest rock and roll band

The world's greatest rock and roll band is the Doors.

Came from a state that didn't secede

As if anything relating to the Civil War matters, sir. What matters now is whether you support your state's right to tax your income.

Can recite at least one Monty Python skit from memory

Who?

Can credibly debate the relative claims of Blazing Saddles, The Producers, and Young Frankenstein to be Mel Brook's best movie, while explaining why Spaceballs is a candidate for the worst movie ever

No idea who or what those are. Doen't anyone watch Blake Edwards anymore?

Has never sat through an entire Woody Allen movie, an entire Nascar race, or an entire Dixie Chicks concert

If you don't like Annie Hall, there's something wrong with you.

Wouldn't camp out 5 days to get Garth Brooks tickets even if s/he was camping at the time

Is he the fellow who does the achy-breaky heart song? I don't follow country music.

Went to Germany on vacation because s/he couldn't find a highway with high enough speed limits in the US

Actually, if you drive 165mph in Germany and run over someone's livestock, you can get in a world of trouble.

Prefers football to basketball to baseball to soccer

The greatest American sport is professional golf, closely followed by yacht racing.

Doesn't play golf

Go to hell.

Doesn't bowl

Can one still bowl? I thought the bowling alleys were knocked down with the drive-in theatres.

Has no kids to foist subsequent generations of politicians on us

A man who does not breed is worthless.

Has a spouse with no political ambitions

In short, never trust a man who marries a dingbat.

Lives with at least one golden retriever

Too timid. A black lab is the finest animal for hunting.

Anyway, this list is ridiculous. Bainbridge isn't worth commenting upon, past what I've already noted.

If you don't like Annie Hall, there's something wrong with you.

Holy cow, I agree with Norman on this one.

However, everyone into sailing is screwed up in the head. Anyone who's spent any amount of time in Greenwich or Marblehead is all too aware of this fact.

Golf exists in that unholy nexus of attracting both the wealthy and those who desperately wish to act like they're wealthy. Yuck.

I'm not saying I'd give my vote to the candidate who can play a believable game of bocci ball has my vote (since I have a feeling that Giuliani can), but it would be a refreshing change.

I have been advocate of this type of voting logic for the past decade. Being a born-bred Nor'Easterner, I am tired of the Good 'ol boys who grin-f*ck you at every photo-op and play down to the lowest common denominator (Nascar and cold ones) rather than playing up to the so-called "social elites." If being a well-educated, well-paid, culturally rounded sophisticate makes me a social elite, than so be it. Why would want a candidate who not only doesn't represent my views and beliefs, but also campaigns and advocates against them?

Watching Kerry in the last election was tough. Here in fact you had an ultra social elitist trying to pander to the good ol' boy network (how many times could his handlers show him with his shirt sleeves rolled up?) but came across exactly like he was trying ("trying to look like you don't try.") Giuliani profers an excellent example of the type of candidate that fits into this mode and appeals to me. I don't necessarily like his politics (though back in the day Rudy's politics were a lot more middle of the road than they are now that he is stumping to the good ol' boys) but at least his life experiences are a lot closer to my own. Now with Kerry on the other hand, whose politics, for the most part, I did agree with, I never quite felt the connection with him. Eve though I did vote for him it was definitely more of an anti-Bush vote than full-throat vote for the Boston Blue-blood.

I know this blog may be somewhat convoluted but again, as a Nor'easterner, I am waiting for the day that the candidate from my youth can challenge for the presidency and hopefully, as a democrat, can be my own voice against this Nascar-nation appeal.

Norman Rogers writes: A conservative is someone who is not going to take your money and give it to the poor

That's right. A conservative takes your money and gives it to the rich, who are much better at knowing what to do with money.

Bainbridge is a classic academic, narcissistic, elitist always trying to one up others on obscure points. Who cares what seed and location a tobacco is from. And trying to argue about what a wine tastes like and how it is in relation to others is ridiculous. And his web page? How much does this guy love himself. I imagine is house is full of mirrors.

Actually, if you drive 165mph in Germany and run over someone's livestock, you can get in a world of trouble.

If you're driving 165 mph and you hit something the size of a goat, let alone a cow, you'll get in a world of trouble in pretty much any country.

I have to agree with at least one point (if not the statement). How bereft is the talent pool in the US? Do we really need to brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, spouses and for that matter cousins, as our representatives? This is likely part of the problem with Washington today. We have created a class of royalty. While it is easier to become part of this class, it is nearly as hard to be removed from it as in any country. We need citizen representatives not dynasties.

Apparently Prof. Bainbridge would support Lord James Percy for President.

According to The Independent:

Lord James Percy, the youngest brother of the Duke of Northumberland, will every day this autumn be striding out on to the moors to shoot a brace or two of the season's red grouse. The blond, bluff 40-year-old aristocrat is described by many familiar with the sport (or slaughter, depending on your point of view) as one of the best shots in Britain.

Unlikely as it seems, when he's not picking off a few partridges, Lord James likes nothing more than to sketch fashion designs.

and

Percy had no schooling at all in clothing design, but he's an enthusiast who from the age of seven customised his own coats. Before he joined Barbour, he was already a hobby-designer with a "little luggage company" here and a "little coat company called Black Wolf" there.

and

And it's as a marketing concept, above all, that he's is most valuable: posed in the company's catalogues and ads leaning against the bonnet of a Land-Rover parked on a grouse moor, gun slung over one arm, golden retrievers at his feet, he's an authentic poster-boy for a fading country lifestyle of the English upper classes.

and

In Lord James, Barbour have found blue blood, expertise and the "right" lifestyle. The only hitch appears to be a rather endearing inability to stick to the marketing script. What will he wear, I ask, when he takes his wealthy American shooting party on to the moors? The Lightweight Cheviot, perhaps? The Dunmoor Shooting Fleece?

Percy stretches back in his chair. "Me? I'll be wearing a T-shirt and a pair of jeans."

Tom Tancredo comes out against seat belts, speed limits and motorcycle helmets.

(way at the bottom)

Tom Tancredo comes out against seat belts, speed limits and motorcycle helmets.

Good. Let him run for emperor of New Hampshire.

Cyrus >"If you're driving 165 mph and you hit something the size of a goat, let alone a cow, you'll get in a world of trouble in pretty much any country."

Anywhere in the known universe. The real laws (of physics etc) are like that; your judge buddies can`t save your bacon.

Just ask Jon Corzine.

"If you`re not nervous, you don`t understand what`s happening." - John Young

165 mph into any livestock and your troubles will be over in an instant.

Anywhere in the known universe. The real laws (of physics etc) are like that; your judge buddies can`t save your bacon.

165 mph into any livestock and your troubles will be over in an instant.

Oh, bullcrap. With a push-bumper welded to the front of a Mercedes sedan, I can hit virtually any animal, save a walrus or a bull moose, and throw it clear of the windshield. I have hit deer with my Lexus SUV at 90 miles an hour and I barely had time to put down my beverage before the telltale smack on the road behind me indicated what I had done.