Editore"s Note
Tilting at Windmills

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June 5, 2007
By: Kevin Drum

COLD, HARD CASH....I just want to remind everyone that William Jefferson (D–Icebox) is innocent until proven guilty. That's the American way. Besides, there are lots of reasons why a congressman might have bricks of hundred dollar bills wrapped in aluminum foil and stuffed in his freezer. Right? In fact, let's make a list in comments!

Kevin Drum 12:41 AM Permalink | Trackbacks | Comments (111)

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Comments

(crickets)

Posted by: thersites on June 5, 2007 at 12:46 AM | PERMALINK

It seems obvious to me. He did not want it to spoil.

Posted by: SRW on June 5, 2007 at 12:46 AM | PERMALINK

Noone can think of any, apparently.

Posted by: Name on June 5, 2007 at 12:47 AM | PERMALINK

Cold cash is best!

And like food that's frozen, it keeps well in the home safety deposit box.

And the aluminum foil prevents the odor of ill-gotten gains from mixing with the veggies.

Posted by: JimPortlandOR on June 5, 2007 at 12:50 AM | PERMALINK

Once he had $100K in the bank he knew the extra money wouldn't be insured by the FDIC or FSLIC.

The freezer was as secure a place as any.

Posted by: Carl Nyberg on June 5, 2007 at 12:50 AM | PERMALINK

Ol' Benny sat too long near his stove and needs to chill out.

Posted by: natural cynic on June 5, 2007 at 12:55 AM | PERMALINK

Actually, because of the insulation on the refrigerator, in the event of a fire in the home the bills would be more likely to survive the fire than, say, money hidden under the mattress.

Especially if the Congressman smokes in bed.

Posted by: Wapiti on June 5, 2007 at 12:58 AM | PERMALINK

His dealer got so completely stoned that he wrapped the money in foil and stuck it in Jefferson's freezer, then went and tried to buy a new car with a bagful of cocaine.

Posted by: gandhi on June 5, 2007 at 1:00 AM | PERMALINK

You guys just don't understand. It isn't safe to keep your money in a bank what with the Queen of England controlling our banks in order to run her narcotics empire profits through. At least that's the way I think I heard the people at the card table in front of the WaMu explain things.

Posted by: Bob G on June 5, 2007 at 1:00 AM | PERMALINK

A common energy saving tip is to keep your freezer full. (Keep the freezer full - A full freezer does not allow warm air in when the door is opened, and if there is a power outage, the freezer will stay cool longer. From http://environmental.ksc.nasa.gov/articles/2003articles.htm)

So he was just trying to save electricity, and the wingnuts can't stand it when Democrats try to save the planet so he's being persecuted.

Posted by: bob on June 5, 2007 at 1:01 AM | PERMALINK

Shitting bricks? Rupert Murdoch came to dinner one night and forgot to flush the toilet - the hundred dollar bricks were later found by Jefferson in the toilet bowl.

Posted by: gandhi on June 5, 2007 at 1:02 AM | PERMALINK

his assets were frozen by gwb?

Posted by: gregor on June 5, 2007 at 1:10 AM | PERMALINK

Why did it take a year and a half after his co-conspirators on these exact counts pled guilty and entered cooperation agreements to even indict Jefferson? Oh, he is guilty; but don't be surprised if there is an evidentiary problem or some other glitch in the government's case that monkey wrenches this down to much smaller status.

Posted by: bmaz on June 5, 2007 at 1:10 AM | PERMALINK

How about this: he's trying to start his own trust fund for hurricane clean-up. Strange, though, because you can't invest...FROZEN ASSETS...

(Yanked off stage by large hook)

Posted by: P on June 5, 2007 at 1:12 AM | PERMALINK

I know a lot of guys who do this. It's kind of like putting your underwear on straight out of the dryer...

Posted by: PETE on June 5, 2007 at 1:21 AM | PERMALINK

I wondered how the cops figured out that's where he was hiding the cash. I mean, if I wrapped a bunch of money in foil and stuffed it in the freezer, I'd figure it wouldn't be the first place they'd look.

Steaks, green beans, bribe, ice cream, spinach, another bribe, Popsicles, bribe...

Posted by: Old Hat on June 5, 2007 at 1:25 AM | PERMALINK

That's a tough one. You should probably let the Simpsons writers take a stab at it to do it any justice. William Jefferson is a crook.

Posted by: Anonymous on June 5, 2007 at 1:25 AM | PERMALINK

The money _likes_ it in the freezer! Who are we to deny it.

Posted by: gml4 on June 5, 2007 at 1:26 AM | PERMALINK

HEY WAZZA MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU NEVER HEARD OF "COLD, HARD CASH"!?!?

Posted by: gandhi on June 5, 2007 at 1:27 AM | PERMALINK

1) The mattress was full.

2) If you keep them in the freezer, all those dead presidents won't rot and smell up the place.

3) Ha! Everyone sees the money inside and doesn't realize those stacks are wrapped in PLATINUM foil!

4) Freezing temperatures inactivate the sub-micro-nano-spy-technology hidden in the anti-counterfeiting strip on modern currency that allows the government to monitor your phone calls, emails, and favorite porn sites.

Posted by: Bruce A. on June 5, 2007 at 1:33 AM | PERMALINK

Others have already made all the "cold" puns, so I'll jump straight to the tastelessness:

He needed more space in the bedroom for the hookers.

Posted by: Baxil on June 5, 2007 at 1:33 AM | PERMALINK

Sandy Berger was supposed to take it out and dispose of it, but he was delayed at the National Archives.

Posted by: Will Allen on June 5, 2007 at 1:45 AM | PERMALINK

If the cash he had was below zero, it can't amount to anything....

Posted by: bmaz on June 5, 2007 at 1:48 AM | PERMALINK

He was going to hide the money up his bum, but decided the officers would be less likely to look in a black man's freezer.

Posted by: Rudy G on June 5, 2007 at 2:06 AM | PERMALINK

Due to a national shortage in genuinely corrupt Democrats, expect DOJ has to draw this out for another year or two. The trial will be scheduled for June through November 2008.

For Christ's sake, the man will serve two terms in congress between being caught in the sting and serving time in jail.

A monkey could do a better job as US attorney.

Posted by: B on June 5, 2007 at 2:08 AM | PERMALINK

Wow our favorite Republican Apologist, Will Allen, just can't help but try to link this to Clinton. What's the matter Will? Couldn't figure out how to make a connection to Pol Pot and those mean Democrats who undermined the great and powerful Nixon just as he was helping those poor Cambodians get out from under the Khmer Rouge whose rise in the wake of Nixon's illegal, immoral, and destabilizing bombing campaign was a mere coincidence? Why don’t you try something that isn’t a nasty non sequitur?

Here's a hint, Bush has been using the USA's office as a partisan hit squad. That's corrupt. Bush's inner circle has exposed a covert agent for pure political gain. That's borderline treason. Bush launched an unprovoked attack on a sovereign nation for political purposes and has effectively murdered tens to hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. That's war crime territory.

Jefferson is likely guilty as sin. But the party you consistently support on this board, Will, has demonstrated that they consider national security to be a joke. Their interest in it is the exact same question they ask about every governmental function, "how does this benefit my party?"

If you had any semblance of shame you would ask the moderators to remove your post.

Posted by: noel on June 5, 2007 at 2:09 AM | PERMALINK

His partners in crime told him that he needed to "deep-freeze" the payout and "chill" for a few years. Jefferson is terribly literal-minded.

Posted by: PTate in FR on June 5, 2007 at 2:26 AM | PERMALINK

Well, you are a liar, noel, so you misrepresent my views of Nixon and the current President, because in your tiny little mind, it is inconceivable that someone could be critical of a Democrat unless he was a Republican.

I mentioned Berger because he recently surrendered his license to practice law rather than answewr any questions that the D.C. bar might have directed at him in their investigation regarding his destruction of documents. If you don't think it is worthy of comment that a former national security advisor has surrendered his license to practice law, rather than answer questions regarding his destruction of documents relating to the attacks on 9/11, fine. I do.

As it happens, I think it likely that the plea agreement between the Bush Justice Department and Berger is corrupt. It most likely was a quid pro quo wherein the Bush Administration went easy on Berger, in return for Berger not revealing information which also is embarrassing to the Bush Administration.

Of course, nothing matters to you other than your moronic focus on the rivalry between two political factions, so any mention of this matter sends you into an idiotic rant.

Posted by: Will Allen on June 5, 2007 at 2:26 AM | PERMALINK

Jefferwson was checking to see if prolonged exposure to cold would do anything to reveal all those $100 counterfeits floating around now.

As for Will Allen: You don't have to let Sandy Berger (or Jefferson, or Alan Mollohan) off the hook to note that, right now, one party has a BIG lead in corruption scandals, for the simple reason that it's spent the last decade making a determined attempt to completely corner the supply of political contributions. Corruption is like Willie Sutton; it follows the money. If the Dems decide to set up their own K Street Project, it will move disproportionately to them.

Posted by: BruceMoomaw on June 5, 2007 at 2:32 AM | PERMALINK

Easy, he's a dumbass.

Posted by: TomStewart on June 5, 2007 at 2:40 AM | PERMALINK

I have to say that I'm not sure that you guys completely understand the original intent of Kevin's call for feedback. It's clear that Congressman Jefferson is in quite a bit of trouble, and as he is innocent until proven guilty, he needs some help coming up with a legal defense, and as loyal Democrats here we need to help a fellow partisan in need. I'm not sure why this call to arms was taken for yet another opportunity to kick someone while he's down.

Personally, I totally feel the Congressman's pain. Being a bachelor, I am often afraid of what I might find in my freezer. Just this evening, for example, in an attempt to find a frozen pizza, which should really be a trivial task given that half of the contents of my freezer are frozen pizzas, I had to wade through a large number of completely unidentifiable objects. I know what I tend to buy at the supermarket (list item one: frozen pizza), and yet I still have no idea what these things are. However, it would be highly misleading to claim that this experience was unique for me, and in fact it has taken some degree of regularity. Often I have to take the plunge and insert one of these objects into the stove itself to find out what it is when the ice thaws, and occasionally the outer box is not yet sufficiently cooked or deformed to still be readable. And yes, occasionally it does turn out to be a frozen pizza.

However, more often it turns out to be something else entirely, although by that point it is still simply a different form of unidentifiable, namely burnt. After years of repetition, I have concluded that some freezers (including my own) are magical items that sometimes have the ability to turn regular everyday items (such as, say, a frozen pizza) and turn them into completely different items (such as, say, a burnt unidentifiable box, or perhaps $400K of cash in tinfoil). And it is clear that Cognressman Jefferson has simply fallen prey to the whims of his own magical freezer.

Really, it's his misfortune that his freezer has turned out to be malicious, choosing to transform his own "pizzas" into something that could potentially be interpreted as something illegal. I must say that his experience has me afraid to look further into my own freezer for fear of finding something that could potentially end up being a box of $400K of burnt cash.

Posted by: msmackle on June 5, 2007 at 2:43 AM | PERMALINK

To keep aliens from reading Ben's mind.

Posted by: Armen on June 5, 2007 at 2:46 AM | PERMALINK

Mr. Moomaw, perhaps you confused me for someone who had made an assertion regarding the relative degree of corruption within each major political tribe.

Posted by: Will Allen on June 5, 2007 at 2:50 AM | PERMALINK

Obviously, Rep. Jefferson was keeping his cash in his freezer so that he might put an ice cold twenty dollar bill in his front pocket whenever he needed to keep his nuts cool on a hot Louisiana summer day.

Posted by: tosser on June 5, 2007 at 2:55 AM | PERMALINK

He needed more space in the bedroom for the hookers.

Who among us has not had this problem?

Posted by: Disputo on June 5, 2007 at 2:58 AM | PERMALINK

Well, Will, it was an honest mistake. After all, you're the one who dragged Sandy Berger into this, when there were so many OTHER names you could have used (most of them with an "(R)" after them).

Posted by: BruceMoomaw on June 5, 2007 at 3:01 AM | PERMALINK

What is fishy is that he had a lot of cash at home, not that he hid it.

Many people try to hide their cash and other valuables -- from potential robbers or from house help, not from the police.

Posted by: JS on June 5, 2007 at 3:13 AM | PERMALINK

Actually, if the cash isn't packed too tightly, it -will- tend to absorb odors, kind of like a low-power box of Arm'n'Hammer. Who wouldn't want their freezer to smell like a wad of fresh bills instead of, say, old fish?

Posted by: Avatar on June 5, 2007 at 3:16 AM | PERMALINK

It occurred to me as I was writing my earlier post that I don't remember anything in any of the news reporting about where specifically in the freezer the cash was. For example, if the cash was wrapped in tinfoil near the bottom of the freezer, then come on, it doesn't take an idiot to see that that's suspicious. But if it was wrapped in tinfoil near the top of the freezer, then that just seems like sensible planning. I mean, what's the point of putting the cash in tinfoil near the bottom of the freezer other than to hide it. At least near the top of the freezer it's easy to get at. Keeping it near the top of the freezer, easy to get at if you need money for the taxi or to pay the occasional opera-ticket-delivery-man, that just seems like sensible thinking.

Posted by: msmackle on June 5, 2007 at 3:23 AM | PERMALINK

Furthermore, does cash expire quickly? I can't remember my money ever going bad before, but then again I had never previously considered keeping in the freezer, so I've just been oblivious to that whole section of financial planning. Does cash keep longer when frozen? Do you have to cook it for longer when you take it out of the freezer than in the fridge?

And why tinfoil for that matter? Some sort of saran-wrap or resealable baggy would make much more sense to me, then you don't have it tasting all freezery when you eat it. I hate that.

Posted by: msmackle on June 5, 2007 at 3:27 AM | PERMALINK

This is a clear cut case of Stockholm Syndrome.

(Rep. Jefferson started to identify with his legislative captors and actually believed he was a Republican)

Posted by: Augustus on June 5, 2007 at 3:30 AM | PERMALINK

Actually, I'm confused, is cash even edible? I'm confused, why would he be eating his money? Who would vote for someone who eats his own money? It seems like he would be a risk of just eating taxpayers' money as well.

Posted by: msmackle on June 5, 2007 at 3:31 AM | PERMALINK


Here is a website
that offers advice on "How to Hide Your Valuables and Money from a Burglar".

One of their recommendations: "The one place in your house that is almost certain to go unchecked by burglars is the inside of your freezer."

Posted by: JS on June 5, 2007 at 3:46 AM | PERMALINK

Then that seems deeply, hurtfully unfair of the law enforcement officers to rudely barge in to Jefferson's home and to announce to the press where he was hiding his money from burglars. The very people who should be protecting him from such thieves!

Now any burglar who decides to break into his house knows the first place to go look for his hidden money. He better hurry up and eat it quickly.

Posted by: msmackle on June 5, 2007 at 3:51 AM | PERMALINK

He got his mind on his money and his money on his mind.

So why not let it chilly-chill for a little while?

Posted by: chuck on June 5, 2007 at 4:22 AM | PERMALINK

Crime novels have for years been noting that many people keep cash in their freezers.

I think I'd be inclined to cache it in the bags of gift wrap and ribbons in the garage, so that a burglar would have to run the gauntlet of the rest of the detritus we stack there.

Posted by: bad Jim on June 5, 2007 at 4:28 AM | PERMALINK

'Cause he likes cold, hard cash.

Doesn't everybody?

Posted by: Nancy Irving on June 5, 2007 at 5:23 AM | PERMALINK

come now, he must be innocent! aliens must have sneaked in and filled his freezer, nobody who was thinking would have done this!

in the first place a rational person would never keep liquid assets in the freezer (money is sometimes even frozen remotely when the gov't decides it doesn't like someone, so why take a chance by putting it into an already cold environment?).

transpiration is another problem (you know, what happens to old pizza in the freezer after a while, it dries up and turns into garbage even when it is wrapped in tinfoil because the water molecules sneakily skip the liquid state and change directly to gas), who would risk freezer burn spoiling their temporarily frozen assets? obviously a rational person would use ziplocs if they wanted to keep frozen liquid assets from spoiling.

and lastly, for the "cold, hard cash" theory, piffle! I say. bills are inherently limp and floppy (don't go there). if you got them cold enough to be hard 1) they sure wouldn't be liquid any more (and we know about frozen assets) and 2) you'd risk breaking them (twice as many isn't necessarily twice as much).

Posted by: supersaurus on June 5, 2007 at 5:54 AM | PERMALINK

Cash must be kept chilled at all times, else it will burn a hole in your pocket.

Posted by: Idaho_Spud on June 5, 2007 at 6:30 AM | PERMALINK

sorry bout this one -- the best (un-P.C.) one i could come up with, Kevin...

"What's the difference between Thomas Jefferson and William Jefferson? One screwed blacks, and the other screwed the Congressional Black Caucus."

Posted by: Anon on June 5, 2007 at 6:48 AM | PERMALINK

He used his freezer because Tom DeLay's freezer was already full.

Posted by: reino on June 5, 2007 at 7:19 AM | PERMALINK

I would think it would be obvious:

he was going to raise his own hollywood-friendly, tap-dancing penguin.

Although HIS penguin was going to tap-dance in diamond-studded shoes, apparently.....

Posted by: jonathan on June 5, 2007 at 7:39 AM | PERMALINK

"They asked me where to put 'the lettuce', I said wrap it in foil and stick it in the freezer... you mean is wasn't really lettuce, it was cash?! OMG"

Posted by: jerry on June 5, 2007 at 7:41 AM | PERMALINK

Jefferson is clearly corrupt (but there are still many more Repubs in that circumstance), but here's a pertinent question:

What US laws can one break, while outside our borders? He is said to have broken several while in Africa, etc.

Posted by: Neil B. on June 5, 2007 at 8:01 AM | PERMALINK

Simply that the money was hot when he got it.

Posted by: Look! Dems do it too!! on June 5, 2007 at 8:11 AM | PERMALINK

Well, aside from providing comedians with material for years, why put money in the freezer?

BTW, msmackle, I feel your pain. Tossing an ice-encrusted unidentifyiable object into the oven in the hopes of pizza, but finding rocky-road ice cream, can really ruin your day.

Here's something that I learned about dealing with flood-damaged books: put them in the freezer. That way they don't mildew, the water will slowly sublimate (like freezer-burn, but in this case it's desirable), and you can deal with them at your leisure.

It's just too bad for rep. Jefferson's defence that Louisiana hasn't had any huge floods in the past couple of yea.... oh, wait.

Posted by: Satan luvvs Repugs on June 5, 2007 at 8:15 AM | PERMALINK

"What US laws can one break, while outside our borders? He is said to have broken several while in Africa, etc."

I believe that a Congressman accepting a bribe outside our country and then letting that bribe affect his work in Congress breaks a few US laws. I'm sure he also broke some tax laws by accepting the money, but that's the boring part of it.

Q: What is cold, green, and doesn't move?
A: Money in your freezer

Posted by: reino on June 5, 2007 at 8:16 AM | PERMALINK

Jefferson knew that inflation would be heating up, so he stored his savings from his salary and a few odd jobs under conditions that would retard the process.

Posted by: clem on June 5, 2007 at 8:21 AM | PERMALINK

C'mon, you provided the answer yourself in your title: Cold, hard cash. How ELSE to get cold, hard cash than to chill the cash. Where is the best place to chill it to hardness (the money would have been moist due to the high HIGH humidity of Louisiana) is in the freezer!

Nothing to see here, just someone who likes his cash cold and hard.

Posted by: Praedor Atrebates on June 5, 2007 at 8:34 AM | PERMALINK

He wanted a cool retirement plan?

Posted by: Scorpio on June 5, 2007 at 8:50 AM | PERMALINK

Come on, who doesn't love and ice cream and dollar bill sundae?

Posted by: MeLoseBrain? on June 5, 2007 at 8:50 AM | PERMALINK

What, did you think he would invest it in the social security trust fund?

plus, it's almost impossible for a black man to open a swiss bank account these days.

Posted by: Northzax on June 5, 2007 at 9:17 AM | PERMALINK

Yes, Satan luvvs Repugs, I think you have hit on it. Modern frost-free freezers are great for drying out paper.

Perhaps Bill got high and took a bath with all that money.

Posted by: toast on June 5, 2007 at 9:21 AM | PERMALINK

I know, he won the exacta at Laurel that weekend, and with the hours banks keep these days, a busy congressman just can't get to the credit union sometimes for a couple days. Perfectly reasonable.

and yes, for the question above, it Is most certainly illegal for a federal officeholder to take a bribe in africa, or anywhere. US law applies to federal employees (and all citizens in many cases) while overseas.

Posted by: Northzax on June 5, 2007 at 9:23 AM | PERMALINK

You said 'Buy Stocks'? I thought you said 'Ice Box'.

Posted by: reino on June 5, 2007 at 9:24 AM | PERMALINK

Obviously Jefferson has an aversion to to bacteria and freezing the money kills the bacteria. Works better than laundering.

Posted by: steve on June 5, 2007 at 9:33 AM | PERMALINK

I'm sure there's an innocent explanation for all this. Like that he also has a large box of stinking and decomposed White Castle hamburgers in his safe desposit box at Baton Rouge Savings and Dime.

Posted by: lampwick on June 5, 2007 at 9:39 AM | PERMALINK

Dietary fiber

Posted by: Ba'al on June 5, 2007 at 9:39 AM | PERMALINK

He's probably been robbed by racist, southern, Christian, white thugs so often that he thought the freezer is the last place they'd look.

Posted by: Freedom Fighter on June 5, 2007 at 9:47 AM | PERMALINK

Money just spends better cold.

Posted by: Nick on June 5, 2007 at 9:54 AM | PERMALINK

He found out the government was going to freeze his assets, and he figured the judge would be lenient if he helped out.

Posted by: reino on June 5, 2007 at 10:04 AM | PERMALINK

Has anyone checked the pull date on the cash? Best when used by....? It could have been ready to expire.

Posted by: jrw on June 5, 2007 at 10:05 AM | PERMALINK

Representative Jefferson, who is widely known (or will be once the truth is put out) for his charitable contributions, was trying to mail the money to Santa Claus. He knew, from his own youthful disappointments, that the postal service was not the best way to get something to Mr. Claus, and chose the freezer on the principle of similarity.

Why do Mr. Jefferson’s critics hate Santa and want Santa to fail in his bold mission to bring smiles and joy to deserving children? Why do they want to deny our troop’s children the simple joys of Christmas morning?

The source of the money was innocent as well. Mr. Jefferson merely assisted MR. AKMOTO ABE IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF $22 MILLION DOLLARS TO A TRUSTED PERSON and chose to use the portion granted to him in gratitude for his services in the selfless manner for which Mr. Jefferson will soon be famous.

As for taxes, Mr. Jefferson was understandably confused. He felt he was merely holding the money in trust for Santa, and thus owed no taxes.

The true evil-doers are obvious: the devious liberal pretend conservatives who have infiltrated the Bush administration. Now that the stalwart conservative thinkers who never supported Bush (even when he was popular) have identified him as a librul it is clear that the corrupt librul apparatus Bush created in the justice department is out to further the secular humanist war against Cristmas and the family (and the troops) by defunding Santa and discrediting Santa’s supporters.

Posted by: JHD on June 5, 2007 at 10:21 AM | PERMALINK

He was going to empirically test Ronald Reagan's claim that the Federal Debt, if piled in a column of hundred dollar bills, would reach to the moon!

Posted by: DB on June 5, 2007 at 10:24 AM | PERMALINK

Why, a water-tight, air-tight freezer is just about perfect for when a hurricane hits and floods your neighborhood!

...

But seriously, good post, Kev...the right whingers can't whinge that you're avoiding discussing Jefferson, and we get to do mock apologetics for corruption in the same manner that apologists on the right make serious-yet-stupid attempts to explain corruption.

Two Birds! One Stone! Woot!

Posted by: grape_crush on June 5, 2007 at 10:33 AM | PERMALINK

"What US laws can one break, while outside our borders? He is said to have broken several while in Africa, etc."

Evidently, it is illegal to purchase Cuban cigars, regardless of where you are in the world. The Governator allegedly fell afoul of this law on a recent trip to Canada.

No more cold hard cash jokes, please.

Posted by: Peter VE on June 5, 2007 at 10:34 AM | PERMALINK

"After all, you're the one who dragged Sandy Berger into this, when there were so many OTHER names you could have used (most of them with an "(R)" after them)."

Ah come on - this is supposed to be a humour thread. I thought Will's joke was funny.

Posted by: Sock Puppet of the Great Satan on June 5, 2007 at 10:37 AM | PERMALINK

This was simply Jefferson's acknowledgement of the old chestnut about how money is the only thing that passes from hand to hand but gains no warmth.

Posted by: biosparite on June 5, 2007 at 10:37 AM | PERMALINK

He kept the cash in the freezer because his ship had not yet come in.

Warning: includes a Cunningham-R dig for Will.


Posted by: FS on June 5, 2007 at 10:53 AM | PERMALINK

It's a simple two-part explanation:

1. The shadow government uses RFID to track the flow of currency.

2. To protect his life savings, he wrapped the money in foil and put it in the freezer, making it invisible to the currency tracking system.

Posted by: Matt on June 5, 2007 at 11:05 AM | PERMALINK

Come on, people. Clearly the man was smart enough not to put bricks of hundred dollar bills wrapped in aluminum foil in the microwave, right?

Posted by: Aaron on June 5, 2007 at 11:09 AM | PERMALINK

Still bills work better in the change machine at the laundromat

Posted by: PaulMoeller on June 5, 2007 at 11:16 AM | PERMALINK

Stiff bills work better in the change machine at the laundromat

Posted by: PaulMoeller on June 5, 2007 at 11:16 AM | PERMALINK

His biggest mistake was not keeping it in a Sub Zero - Offended most Yupps and Repugs.

Posted by: thethirdPaul on June 5, 2007 at 11:35 AM | PERMALINK

He was busy preparing his speech against runaway spending and the lack of fiscal discipline indemic in Bushonomics. It was to be the key prop in his "spending freeze" bill presentation.

Posted by: bill on June 5, 2007 at 11:35 AM | PERMALINK

He was so terrified by the way that the dollar has nosedived under Bush that he thought freezing them was the only way to preserve their value.

Posted by: sullijan on June 5, 2007 at 11:36 AM | PERMALINK

He was busy preparing his speech against runaway spending and the lack of fiscal discipline endemic in Bushonomics. It was to be the key prop in his "spending freeze" bill presentation.

Posted by: bill on June 5, 2007 at 11:39 AM | PERMALINK

Ha ha, all of you. Clearly none of you is of sufficient breeding to appreciate the true delicacy that is a piece of truly fine steak, wrapped in $100 bills for a week, and then thrown on the grill en toto. Burning c-note gives the meat such an extra richness.

Posted by: Imaginary on June 5, 2007 at 12:19 PM | PERMALINK

Maybe this was the one time a Nigerian email scam paid off.

Posted by: Andy on June 5, 2007 at 12:23 PM | PERMALINK

He admires Ben Franklin, and wants to wallpaper his shitter with Ben's visage.

Posted by: bebimbob on June 5, 2007 at 12:24 PM | PERMALINK

Imaginary,

C-Notes??? - Ah, such a piker - Heard that Norman Rogers only uses those Super Notes from North Korea.

Posted by: thethirdPaul on June 5, 2007 at 12:25 PM | PERMALINK

For every Duke Cunningham the Democrats have their own William Jefferson. Just goes to show that the Democrats are at least just as corrupt as the Republicans and probably even more corrupt. The liberal media does a good job of hiding it.

Posted by: egbert on June 5, 2007 at 12:27 PM | PERMALINK

For every Duke Cunningham the Democrats have their own William Jefferson. Just goes to show that the Democrats are at least just as corrupt as the Republicans and probably even more corrupt. The liberal media does a good job of hiding it.

Posted by: egbert on June 5, 2007 at 12:27 PM | PERMALINK

egbert on June 5, 2007 at 12:27 PM:

For every Duke Cunningham....

More like "For every William Jefferson, there's ten corrupt Republicans that egbert makes weak excuses for."

Yeah, that's more like it.

Posted by: grape_crush on June 5, 2007 at 12:40 PM | PERMALINK

For every Duke Cunningham, the Republicans have a Tom Delay, Bob Ney, Ted Stevens, Jerry Lewis, Bill Janklow, Mark Foley, Joseph Giordano, George Ryan, Bernard Kerik, I. Lewis Libby and Newt Gingrich.

Posted by: Roger Ailes on June 5, 2007 at 12:42 PM | PERMALINK

That wasn't actually his freezer. He was just watching it for a friend who was out of town.

Posted by: Marc on June 5, 2007 at 1:28 PM | PERMALINK

I can only suggest Mr. Jefferson either is a) really, really worried about a cockroach infestation, or b) has confused his cash with his vodka.

Posted by: grumpy realist on June 5, 2007 at 1:30 PM | PERMALINK

I can only suggest Mr. Jefferson either is a) really, really worried about a cockroach infestation, or b) has confused his cash with his vodka.

Posted by: grumpy realist on June 5, 2007 at 1:30 PM | PERMALINK

in wikipedia there is a nice fairly long art. on

willjeff that some of the readers of this thread

may find interesting. among other things willjeff

graduated from harvard law in '72. alberto

gonzales graduated from harvard law

in '82

i guess '72 and '82 were real prize years for

the HLS as far as affirmative action

was concerned.

Posted by: wschneid25 on June 5, 2007 at 1:37 PM | PERMALINK

He needed cold hard cash in case he needed to evacuate to Dallas and he didn't want to stay at New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin's house. Yes that is right. The mayor bought a house in Dallas under his wife's name and they live there most of the week. Sorry. Different rant. Dollar Bill Jefferson is my congressman, much to my regret every two years, and he is the worst kind of pol. Crooked and race-baiting as they come.

Posted by: Levees Not War on June 5, 2007 at 2:29 PM | PERMALINK

His campaign manager told him that to get re-elected would require cold hard cash...and lots of it.

Posted by: majun on June 5, 2007 at 3:36 PM | PERMALINK

Wanted to have "a cool million" in savings.

Posted by: moron on June 5, 2007 at 3:49 PM | PERMALINK

JS,

I checked up on that website and it appears to be a front for the Mafia.

Posted by: Yancey Ward on June 5, 2007 at 4:16 PM | PERMALINK

Thanks to this turkey, the Fred Hiatts of the world can point to corruption in both parties.

Posted by: Rula Lenska on June 5, 2007 at 5:02 PM | PERMALINK

He ran out of burlap sacks with giant dollar signs on them.

Posted by: SDM on June 5, 2007 at 5:07 PM | PERMALINK

Obviously what we have here is simply an education problem. Which can only be solved by vastly increasing the education budgets everywhere. Because this much is clear:
Jefferson simply didn't understand that all admiring those references to "cold hard cash" were talking about coins, not paper money.

Posted by: wj on June 5, 2007 at 5:28 PM | PERMALINK

Yancey Ward, isn't it sad how all our institutions have been reduced to a mere shadow of their old glories. Even the Mafia now subsists on petty house robberies.

Posted by: JS on June 5, 2007 at 5:44 PM | PERMALINK

People who think it strange to put foil-wrapped cash in freezers are too young to remember how popular TV Dineros once were.

Posted by: Douglas Scott on June 5, 2007 at 8:07 PM | PERMALINK

is cash even edible?...why would he be eating his money? Who would vote for someone who eats his own money? It seems like he would be a risk of just eating taxpayers' money as well.
Posted by: msmackle on June 5, 2007 at 3:31 AM |

Well, maybe he was on a diet, and keeping the cash in the freezer was one way to keep from eating it all at once. No one wants to see what happens when you binge and purge on $100 bills.

Anyhow, better that he eat taxpayers' money than that he eat the taxpayers themselves. Oh, wait, that was Idi Amin...

Posted by: keith on June 5, 2007 at 9:06 PM | PERMALINK

Folks,
He had asked the IRS to deposit the money from his tax cut in a ... "safe" place. thats all.

Posted by: NS on June 5, 2007 at 9:36 PM | PERMALINK

Besides, there are lots of reasons why a congressman might have bricks of hundred dollar bills wrapped in aluminum foil and stuffed in his freezer. Right?

He was planning on trying to get some legislation through the Republican't controlled congress, and he needed the cash in order to grease the Republican'ts. Because that's the only way you can get Republican'ts to do anything...

Posted by: (: Tom :) on June 6, 2007 at 9:41 AM | PERMALINK




 

 

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