.The LA Times reports today that Petraeus and Crocker aren't actually going to write the Petraeus/Crocker reporter. They'll just have "input" into a report written by staffers at the White House:

This is Murphey's Law of Lab Reports: For best results, and higest grades, first draw all curves, then plot data.

Are you saying that THE WHITE HOUSE will be writing Petraeus's report to THE WHITE HOUSE & CONGRESS on the Status of the Surge?

Really?

Petraeus isn't writing his own report? Ok, tell me again why we don't start pulling the troops out now.

C'mon. Would any of us believe anything this White House releases to be true, no matter the circumstances?
They're a joke. Unfortunately, not a funny one.

C'mon, Kevin, we've been discussing for months now the near-certainty that Betrayus' report would cite some bogus benchmarks of "progress" -- we have Bush's recent interim report as a model -- and Bush would use it to justify punting the Iraq mess into the lap of the next President. Even that neocon toad "ex-liberal" couldn't resist tipping his hand out of sheer glee at the mendacity of it all.

It's mildly surprising that the report would be literally written by the White House, but there's never been any doubt that its consclusions would be coming straight out of Cheney's office.

corpus juris,

Shush, Barney is still typing.

I have already written the Petaeus report.

Here's the summary:

1) The surge is working.

2) It needs more time.

3) In 6 months, we will know more.

Remember, the King Turdeater administration has one and only one objective: They must leave office with troops in Iraq. That way, when President Hillary removes the troops and Iraq collapses, the Democrats "stabbed us in the back". The new Hitler, Rudy Giuliani, then has an instant issue to rally American fascists like Al.

But, I look forward to the day when Norman Rogers' hero, Rudy, will make the trains run on time. Of course, these will be freight trains, but the life of Guthrie for me.

"This train don't carry no gamblers, this train..."

Kevin, you're burying the lede here, which is that the WH doesn't trust Petraeus and Crocker to lie well enough to con another FU out of Congress.

This is what makes me really crazy. Whatever report comes out, whoever writes it, the corporate press will accept it on face value. If the report says there's progress, the big three networks and most newspapers will repeat that. Some may mention that Democrats disagree, but no one will say that there is, in fact, no progress. "They can't hold out against Cheney" because our news media is broken.

Apart from their dazzling incompetence in actually waging a war, this administration consistently sets new, lower benchmarks in how to sell or spin one. After months of lauding Petraeus as the New Strategic Jesus of counterinsurgency, they're now going to maginalise, edit & frame his best-possible-version of input? The shit on the ground has got to be god-awful fragrant when you start to lip-synch your perkiest cheerleaders...

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

As for the content of the looming report, anyone who has ever used the Microsoft Excel spreadsheet program knows what's coming next. Americans should expect to see the old "Fill Right" trick. That is, when producing a long-term financial model or forecast, the Excel user in the absence of research, data, or just common sense, simply copies the value or formula from one cell (for, say, monthly or quarterly sales) to all the succeeding cells (months or quarters in ensuing years). The result is an impressive looking spreadsheet, but one whose projections are baseless and without foundation.

As the interim surge report made clear in July, President Bush like any failed CEO has been relying on the old fill-right gimmick since the Iraq war commenced. Starting in 2003, Bush simply selected the cell containing the phrase "We're Making Progress" and filled right...

For a screen shot and more details, see:
"White House to Author 'Fill Right' Iraq Report for Petraeus."

Considering that the administration's whole raison d'etre has been to get a good September report... I wonder how they're going to write that report to themselves.

If Petraeus had any credibility left or even the ability to remotedly project a sense of military thinking independent of partisan GOP politics, it all just flew out the window.

Petraeus and Crocker aren't actually going to write the Petraeus/Crocker report. They'll just have "input" into a report written by staffers at the White House:

Sounds very much like Fletcher Prouty's revelations regarding the "McNamara" Report on Vietnam. Of course, the Kennedy White House was actually intent on getting this country OUT of a potential quagmire, not digging the hole even deeper in a clearly recognized one!

As for the strictly fanciful LONG-term prospect of "success" in Iraq, it strongly appears -- according to the US Comptroller General -- that "We the People" will be foundering in a sea of fiscal crisis LONG before any such remote possibility ever manifests. Of course, the Bush Regime and its plutocratic cronies, having already managed to heavily re-distribute the nation's wealth (for generations to come) to themselves, will have LITTLE need to worry about their own solvency:

Learn From the Fall of Rome, US Warned
[The Financial Times]

The US government is on a 'burning platform' of unsustainable policies and practices with fiscal deficits, chronic healthcare underfunding, immigration and overseas military commitments threatening a crisis if action is not taken soon, the country's top government inspector has warned.

David Walker, comptroller general of the US, issued the unusually downbeat assessment of his country's future in a report that lays out what he called "chilling long-term simulations."

These include "dramatic" tax rises, slashed government services and the large-scale dumping by foreign governments of holdings of US debt.

Drawing parallels with the end of the Roman empire, Mr Walker warned there were "striking similarities" between America's current situation and the factors that brought down Rome, including "declining moral values and political civility at home, an over-confident and over-extended military in foreign lands and fiscal irresponsibility by the central government." ...

I'm sorry. Did someone expect an officer in our civilian-controlled Armed Forces to write a report making detailed political and policy recommendations and submit it to our elected representatives in the various branches for action? Seriously. Did you actually think that?

What progress? Our military is losing soldiers everyday because of Bush & Cheneys stupidity, so they can steal all the oil from Iraq for their profits, stop this war now and bring our troop home. The Republicans for most are IDIOTS, including this Idiot McCain, all the known losers that do not have a chance in hell winning need to withdraw from the Presidential Race and keep thier heads out of the current administrations ass.

The day David Walker opines on America's supposedly "declining moral values," is the same day someone in Congress ought to tell him to shut the fuck up, put his green eyeshade back on and do the job the Comptroller General is supposed to do for the Legislative Branch and the country. Roman Empire. What a douche.

Roman Empire. What a douche. ...

Well, that's ONE wingnut's opinion. ;-)

Petraeus isn't writing his own report? Ok, tell me again why we don't start pulling the troops out now.

Because we're in here, typing our frustration, and not marching on the Capitol with torches.

'Wait a second. Sure we can claim progress, but it's not credible to . . . just neglect the fact that it's had no effect on the ground.'"

I'm sure whomever said this has already been fired.

six easy quests.

1.did perhaps the reagan admin. take advantage of the fact that admiral poindexter had a lifelong obsessive ambition to be the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff to get him to go along with their iran contragate policy?

2.did perhaps the bush admin. take advantage of the fact that general petraeus had a lifelong obsessive ambition to be chairman of the joint chiefs of staff to get him to go along with their
iraq surge policy?

3.is the pope a catholic?

4. are there ten dimes to a dollar?

5. does dolly parton sleep on her back?(do young engineering students like young nubile nursies
with big boobs?)

6. do bears shit in the woods?

continued:

7. can michael jordan play roundball?

8. can mickey mantle hit the long ball?

9. do liquor stores stay open late on new year's
eve.?

10. do sport bar owners look forward to super
bowl sunday?

contnued:

11. do florists look forward to mother's day?

continued:

12.(this quest. is for new york knick fans only)of all the sports teams, in the history of the world,are the new york knicks are the most depressing team, of all time, to be a devoted
long term fan of?
LTFOTNYK

continued:

13.does george bush have an iq no higher than a tree stump?

14. does george bush have an iq no higher than an eggplant?

15. does george bush have an iq that is less than or equal to zero?