Ann Coulter meant: "I will say anything that will get me on TV and thus sell more books."

George Bush meant: "I will say anything that Dick and Condi tell me sounds smart."

Rudy Giuliani meant: "I will say anything that might convince some idiot to vote for me."

John McCain meant: "Really, I have no idea why I'm running for president."

Isn't trying to cypher a motive for any of these insane freaks about as open to interpretation as dream analysis?

Ann Coulter: In 'our' religion, we assign a tracking number to you.

Bush: I only have 15 more months to completely destroy civilization as we now know it. Then, they'll KNOW I am relevant!

Rudy: If you rubes even knew where France was, you'd know you're already to the left of it.

McCain: If I can avoid taking a position on any core issues that affect voters' lives, maybe....

They are all republican'ts, therefore nothing they say means anything at all.

It all means, "Stick a fork in us, we're dumb!"

Just a guess, but I think it means they're all nuts!

...

"you keep using that word.
I don't think it means what you think it means."

...

Postal workers don't eat pork?

People who don't eat pork are dangerous

Me, Me, Me, 9-11, 9-11, surrender monkeys, 9-11

Biologists, the other white meat.

stupid rays, saturating our planet.

Ann Coulter: Choose Jesus for fast, guaranteed deliverance by 9:30 am.

George Bush: Since no one takes me seriously on foreign policy any more I might as well ratchet up the stakes. How about the apocalypse, any takers?

Rudy Giuliani: Je suis un idiot.

John McCain: Hey, if I can pull in 14 Montana bear hunters, that's a start.

Ms. Coulter meant that Jews could get to heaven by performing mitzvot (commandments), but this is tedious and time-consuming because there are so darned many of them (Jews count 613 mitzvot); but Christians get to heaven just by accepting J.C. as their personal saviors, which is so much easier and takes so much less time. The "accept Jesus as savior hypothesis" is not unique to Ms. Coulter, although there has never been any evidence that it actually works.

As it happens, Jewish thinking on mitzvot is more that they are worth doing for their own sake, or in the hopes of reward in this life, rather than as a presumptive ticket to heaven; although there is the possibility of reward in the world to come, it's not the main reason for performing mitzvot.

It means Ann Coulter is a demogogue, and doesn't believe any of it.

Mr. Giuliani meant that he is the only Republican who can beat the Democratic nominee, whoever that may be; and that if any of the three leading Democratic candidates (Ms. Clinton, Mr. Obama, or Mr. Edwards) get elected, America will “suffer” with single payer health care that will work even better than the French health care system. As for that prospect, all I can say is Honi soit qui mal y pense.

Surely you mean Après moi le déluge...

John McCain feigns upset about the amount of money we're spending studying the DNA of Montana bears (a few million dollars a year, at most) because there would be cognitive dissonance for him to be up upset about the amount of money we are wasting in Iraq (around $100 billion per year, or some 100,000 times more than the costs of bear DNA study).

John McCain is not innumerate, but he rightly assumes that the mainstream media will fail to point his penny-wise, kilo-pound foolishness, and that his supporters will be too stupid to know either.

Fed Ex - When you absolutely positively need to get to heaven over night -

coulter: everything coulter says has to do with making her richer but we don't talk about why she is in a family political blog.

"What did George Bush mean when he suggested that Iran's nuclear program might bring on World War III?"

well obviously he meant he is thinking about starting it, putin is getting uppity making condi wait 45 minutes and then making tasteless jokes about the moon, something must be done and he is the decider.

What did Rudy Giuliani mean when he told an Iowa audience, "If we are not careful and you don't elect me, this country will be to the left of France"?

it means he hasn't looked at a map lately, we are obviously to the left of france already.

mccain is grandstanding, it doesn't have to mean anything.

I'm guessing it all means the Republican Party is inhabited by people who are severely mentally ill.

Ann Coulter meant, "Please publicize my book." No doubt she is grateful to Kevin and posters here for their cooperation.

George Bush meant: "Russia and China, please support sanctions, so that it won't require military action to keep Iran from getting nukes."

Guiliani and McCain both meant "Vote for me."

We've got to stop running away from France. Some big strong Democrat has to respond:

"The French were smarter than us. THEY didn't get bamboozled. It's not THEY who are sending their young people to die in a bogus, counterproductive war."

They've reached the stage that goes beyond cognitive dissonance-- cognitive whatthefuckonance.

'cognitive whatthefuckonance' - MattF

LOVE IT! Maybe whattheclusterfuckonance?

“Where ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground.�
—George Carlin

A few mee questions from a few wee of idiots.

Trying to analyze what they mean is falling into the trap. Just take the words for what they mean, just as if you were reading the constitution.

Therefore, Ann means Christianity is like FedEx, slim and trim (like her, I might add) and so just fill out the form, put it on the soul sized package you get at your neighborhood church and you're good to go.

Guiliani is pandering to the Francophobic O'Reilly viewers in the audience. It's code for a cold shiver down your back; it also means abortion on demand, gay rights, lower taxes, smaller government and 9/11.

Bush thinks he's Henry II and Ahmedinejad is Thomas Becket. Well, not exactly but, well, you know.

McCain means the only good bear is a dead bear. He's in Montana where that message still resonates (wink wink, nudge nudge).

It bears noting that all Americans, including Democrats, are to the right of France, including their Right. Wait, I'm getting confused.

I think she meant that the "Christian" in "Christian Right" is like the "Federal" in "Federal Express": Bullshit marketing.

Sorry, but I prefer to put forth yet another question...WHY won't our clueless DEMS bring forth IMPEACHMENT in an attempt to STOP the continuing destruction of America's founding principles? Unless they do I don't care what the answers are to the other questions...

On Rudy - left of France really means a more efficient health care system. Now that "wouldn't be prudent".

What did Ann Coulter mean when she said Christianity is "more like Federal Express"?

Christians are not obligated to keep all the laws of the Torah in order to go to be "saved" when they die. Instead they believe that Jesus was the perfect sacrifice and that when he died on the cross He took on the sins of all those who believe in Him. So Coulter's analogy is consistent with what many Christians believe, which is that Christians are on the "fast track" to heaven while the Jews are still going about it the old way.

Don't ask me to defend this belief and indeed not all Christians see it quite this way.

What did Rudy Giuliani mean when he told an Iowa audience, "If we are not careful and you don't elect me, this country will be to the left of France"?

Socialism is bad and evil!!! Booga, booga, booga!!!!

Coulter: My tribe better than other tribes. We number one.

Bush: What the US tribe has gotta do is to be afraid that other tribe will grow strong. In other words, war chief say kill all now.

Giuliani: If our tribe make Puts-Up-With-Clenis our new chief, she make our tribe even weaker than cheese-eating surrender monkey tribe. Me plenty strong, kill plenty other tribes. Not give meat to weak or sick people in our tribe, either. Good they die, make us stronger.

McCain: I have lost.

It means they're all clinically insane.

McCain is giving a dog whistle to the powerful western rancher lobby who like cheap access to federal land to graze their cattle and the unfettered ability to kill bears who they believe cut into their profits by eating an occasional calf or two. The DNA study is trying to determine how many Montana bears there actually are by using mathematical models based on the genetic diversity of the samples. The suspicion is that the Montana Black and Grizzly bears are in fact endangered and we all know where that would lead.

1) Overnight deliverance;
2) We have nothing to fear but lack of fear;
3) Only cheese eating surrender monkeys don't torture for shits and giggles;
4) Gotta keep that family secret from coming to light.

Actually, Evangelical Christianity is more like Amway. You only get the benefits by sucking more people into the sceme.

What did Putin mean when he said that Russia is developing new types of nukes to protect against the US invading and stealing their oil?

Retardicans are like Hallmark:

When you care enough to send your very best...to die.

Coulter: Because her version of Christianity, like FedEx, has a lot of Kinko's.

Ann Coulter meant: "World religions are best understood as package delivery companies"

George Bush meant: "I will start World War III because I'm batsh*t crazy"

Rudy Giuliani meant: "9/11"

John McCain meant: "I will say anything shocking and off-the-wall so that I can defibrillate my campaign"

Coulter:
I don't approve of the the sexy brown shorts the UPS rabbis wear. FEDEX offers perfect long pants to the Jews, not to mention just-in-time pogroms delivered right to their door...... although, on second thought, making the Jews perfect would cause even more hard feelings among the Christians, which is a good thing becasue it keeps the base pissed off. But we promise not to undercut the competition in Poland ... honest.

Bush:
How am I going to deliver my package to Poland, then?

Guiliani:
When France guarantees healthcare to only 95% of its people and the U.S. guarantees healthcare to only 5% of its people, you'll be 100% sure that Hillary Clinton is not your President.

McCain:
Why should bears receive the taxpayers' hard-earned money? I drove by Yellowstone the other day to see if they deserve subsidy, and they have ample fish and berries, not to mention granite countertops. Why don't they give up salmon for a couple of weeks and study their own damned DNA?

Tax credits would put a high deductible DNA insurance policy well within their reach.

I know the cubs are cute when they beg, but that makes them fair game.

Screw all that, what I wanna know is why Billy Joe McAllister jumped off the Tallahasee Bridge...

But seriously, all those comments are akin to the Onion running up to the 2004 election. They had a headling, "Dick Cheney Promises to Personally Attack US if Bush not Elected". In a nutshell.

And hey, something about DNA and bears and Fedex. We're stupid, and if we don't go along with them, all hell will break loose.

Like it hasn't already. Pshah.

An Coulter was pointing out that most Protestants are Calvinist in their theological understanding; and since Calvinism teaches absolute predestination, upon their death Calvinists are express to their destination of eternity of serenity at the knee of their Lord or to the excitement of the nether world.

George Bush was saying that he will use Iran's nuclear ambitions as an excuse to launch WWIII and his consequent rapture.

Giuliani was indicating that he is so clueless he doesn't realize that kicking the French passed from style a year or so ago.

McCain is upset about the DNA testing of bears as he is afraid it will be discovered that he is closely related.

The appropriate response to Guliani is:

If we're not careful and Rudy gets elected the United States will be to the right of Dick Cheney.

This has the added benefit of being true, whereas America being to the left of France will happen shortly after an American president feels like he'd be OK separating from his wife while in office. Not bloody likely. If Ike had been our prez, Tina would've had to suck it up and stick it out.

Read David Ignatius column in today's (Thursday)
Washington Post. It's about Al-Quada's continuing attempts to acquire nuclear weapons. Ignatius begins the article by referring to the liberal belief that "people" are trying to scare us. Then he proceeds to scare us. That's the thinking liberal's problem. How long he can keep his head stuck in the sand.

"Bush thinks he's Henry II and Ahmedinejad is Thomas Becket. Well, not exactly but, well, you know."

So he'll have Ahmedinejad killed and then submit to a public flogging? Maybe someone can find the Condi the Dominatrix picture that was on the internets a while back. She can do the whipping. I'd pay to see that.

Sara, I believe that bungee cords were not perfected in '53 - The symbolism of the "rag doll" hits a tad too close to home.

However, if one says "I believe and Hallalooo by 5, Fed Ex will definitely have salvation shipped through Memphis and delivered by morning. Of course, the Tooth Fairy will still leave it under your pillow.

Sending a FedEx package is much more complicated than sending a USPS package. The analogy is incoherent as well as demeaning, and reveals Coulter as one of those rich overprivileged people who has people to do things like mail packages for her.

Coulter: Look at me. Look at me. Look at me!

Giuliani: Look at me. Look at me. Look at me!

Bush: Look at me. Look at me. Look at me!

McCain: Please don't look at me.

Hillary: (cackling)

Coulter: Christianity: When you absolutely, positively have to get ahead of the news overnight. "I'm not gay! I go to church!"

Bush: I've just signed legislation outlawing Iran forever. The bombing starts in five minutes.

Giuliani: Hillary secretly has a plan to tow the USA into the English Channel.

McCain: We ought to be spending that money on me.

"What did Ann Coulter mean when she said Christianity is "more like Federal Express"?"

She meant it's not brown.

I'm thinking that "not brown" means she thinks it's the religion of white folks.

My longish answer on the Coulter FedEx question is posted here.

Joel Hanes nails it exactly right, 4/4. It's all about knuckle-dragging tribalism. And the bear thing is maybe about anti-intellectualism -- why would we want to know anything about anything we could just shoot? Egghead scientists.

The DNA research is to find out if a bear really does shit in the woods.

That question keeps me up at night.

Oh, well, a couple are easy.

* Bush thinks he should throw a couple of nukes at Russia if they get too friendly with Iran.

* Russia is portrayed as a bear.

* Thus, "studying the DNA of the bear" is code to George Bush for "Those liberal College Professors are becoming Russian."

* Ergo, John McCain is afraid that W is going to bomb Montana into radioactive Gehenna, and is frantically trying to stop the liberal's march towards annihilation.

Why did Ann Coulter, George Bush, Rudy Giuliani, and John McCain say those statements?

Try...Because they're stupid. And stupid people like the above morons say stupid things.

In fact, that's how you can tell who the stupid people are on this planet; they say stupid things.

Duh.

I think we may have found the missing links in evolution; Republicans. Who would have guessed that they are still with us.

First, I'd be more likely to ask where Billy Joe McAllister found a bridge in Tallahassee from which to jump since there ain't any...

It's "jumped off the Tallahatchee Bridge" which I think was supposed to be in Georgia. But considering the water situation at present, he'd be very likely to actually encounter a dry river bed in any case.

“How can one defend a system that creates wealth by making the majority poor?�
--Henry C. K. Liu

“There are two things that are important in politics. The first is money, and I can’t remember what the second one is.� - Mark Hanna