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Tilting at Windmills

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December 14, 2007
By: Kevin Drum

WAS IT FOR ALL THOSE TICKER TAPE PARADES THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO GET?....ThinkProgress passes along the news that federal spending on paper shredding has increased over 500% since George Bush took office. Consider this an open thread for paper shredding jokes.

UPDATE: In other news from ThinkProgress, Bill O'Reilly apparently thinks that certain retailers should be exempt from his "War on Christmas" tirades. Namely, retailers that sell a lot of books. More specifically, retailers who sell a lot of Bill O'Reilly's books. Gutsy as always, Bill.

UPDATE 2: Emailer JMK suggests that maybe all the shredded paper was for the $20 million Iraq war victory celebration that Republicans budgeted for 2006 and then rolled over into 2007. Maybe!

Kevin Drum 1:05 PM Permalink | Trackbacks | Comments (26)

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I guess now we know where the Constitution went!

Posted by: Stuart Shiffman on December 14, 2007 at 1:12 PM | PERMALINK

He said he'd shrink the government, not shred it.

Posted by: tomeck on December 14, 2007 at 1:14 PM | PERMALINK

ThinkProgress passes along the news that federal spending on paper shredding has increased over 500% since George Bush took office.

Kevin, ever heard of the paperless office? With the advent of computers and high technology, there's no reason to keep papers around any more. No doubt the Bush Administration copied any memos, papers, etc onto their computers, blackberries, and networks as quickly as possible and ordered the papers to be shredded immediately afterwards. They wanted to be environmentally friendly by allowing the shredded papers to be immediately recycled. You should be commending the Bush Administration for their pro-shredding, pro-environment policy instead of deriding it.

Posted by: Al on December 14, 2007 at 1:17 PM | PERMALINK

There are dumb people, dumber people, and people who buy Bill O'Reilly books.

Posted by: POed Lib on December 14, 2007 at 1:18 PM | PERMALINK

"There are dumb people, dumber people, and people who buy Bill O'Reilly books." POed Lib 12/14/2008

And then there is Al.

Posted by: Corpus Juris on December 14, 2007 at 1:33 PM | PERMALINK

Kevin, ever heard of the paperless office?

Al, ever seen a paperless office? They don't exist, certainly not in government. And you don't need to shred paper to recycle. Try a little harder next time.

Posted by: tomeck on December 14, 2007 at 1:36 PM | PERMALINK

hey.. whatever happened to the budget for the victory parade we would have in the US for our Iraq win?

Posted by: evermore on December 14, 2007 at 1:37 PM | PERMALINK

I suspect Cheney's deep ties to the Sheinhardt Wig Company.

Posted by: anon on December 14, 2007 at 1:46 PM | PERMALINK

Yep, the GOP learned an invaluable lesson from Watergate: DESTROY YOUR RECORDS.

Posted by: Bruce Moomaw on December 14, 2007 at 2:12 PM | PERMALINK

Useful stuff, shredded paper. Thousands of household uses. You can clean up tiny spills, flog insects with them, tie up very small parcels...

Posted by: Pythonesque on December 14, 2007 at 2:49 PM | PERMALINK

"Consider this an open thread for paper shredding jokes."

Here is a joke as good now as when I made it up in in the late years of the Nixon administration. It helps to know both meanings of the key word in the punchline.

Q. What does the Republican party have in common with the state of New York?

A. They share the same motto: Excelsior!

(Excelsior!)

Posted by: Joel Rubinstein on December 14, 2007 at 2:57 PM | PERMALINK

These people have a Bible in one hand and a bag of paper bits in the other, and they don't have any issues of conscience with that?

Hero in a Mental Hospital
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom & stayed there.

Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged for your actions.The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

~~~~~
Sorry, that was as close to a shredder joke as I could find, other than that lame shredder/printer one. :)

Posted by: Zit on December 14, 2007 at 3:04 PM | PERMALINK

Thanks Al, for reminding me of those shredded RNC/WH emails.

Posted by: Kenneth on December 14, 2007 at 3:09 PM | PERMALINK

What did the paper shredder say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle?

"You're lucky I'm made of paper..."

-----------------------------------

Johnny was making a recipe that called for shredded carrots. He was an inexperienced cook, but he noticed that his parents' paper shredder was nearby, so he used that. When his parents got home, they saw the carrot-stained shredder machine and cornered little Johnny. "What is the meaning of this??" they thundered. "That was a 300 dollar paper shredder! What on earth were you doing?"

Johnny looked up with large frightened eyes. "Mom," he said, his voice quavering, "I'm sorry, but I didn't actually have a punchline in mind, I was just making this joke up as I went along."

Posted by: mk on December 14, 2007 at 4:05 PM | PERMALINK

"Bill O'Reilly's books"

Did someone say something about shredding?

Posted by: Ross Best on December 14, 2007 at 4:09 PM | PERMALINK

$20 million for a Iraq victory party? Wouldn't that pay for, oh, say, 11 minutes or so of the war?

Posted by: Dave In Texas on December 14, 2007 at 4:16 PM | PERMALINK

There isn't actually any more paper being shredded. It's just that the contract for paper shredding has been given out on a no-bid basis to Blackwater.

Posted by: jack on December 14, 2007 at 5:18 PM | PERMALINK

"$20 million Iraq war victory celebration"

Reading with typical carelessness and half-scan I reserve for blogs, I caught this as "war on victory."
Seems about right.

Posted by: Martin on December 14, 2007 at 5:38 PM | PERMALINK

Better shred than dead. Let's see, what's Shrub shredded? The Constitution, the economy, the reputation of the United States, the lives of countless Iraqis, American military personnel and their families, and future generations who will be stuck with crushing debt and a dying planet --all shredded in eight short years by the little criminal in the White House. Proud of him, Poppy?

Posted by: dalloway on December 14, 2007 at 5:40 PM | PERMALINK

About this "War on Christmas": Did anyone else hear about the folks who said "Happy Hannukah" to some people who said "Merry Christmas" to them, and were attacked by the latter? I hold O'Reilly and crue responsible for incitement.

Posted by: Neil B. on December 14, 2007 at 7:36 PM | PERMALINK

neil: The guy who came to the Jews' rescue was a Muslim. Bet O'Reilly doesn't talk about that.

The shredder bill is nothing. The bill for medical expenses caused by repetitive clicking DELETE on White House & DOJ emails must be ten times that.

Posted by: bob in fla on December 14, 2007 at 9:17 PM | PERMALINK

federal spending on paper shredding has increased over 500% since George Bush took office.

No joke, but anecdote:

For the REMF's (like me now) in the military, most offices (and even many front line units in their training cycle - but not during deployment) have transitioned over the last ten years or so from burning paper waste, to shredding and recycling it. The bags used for paper waste are still called burn bags, however.

Posted by: Kolohe on December 14, 2007 at 10:37 PM | PERMALINK

Bravo fake Al, this is one of the better effects I've seen in months, does the stupid come naturally or do need to practice?

Posted by: Former Fake Al on December 15, 2007 at 12:44 AM | PERMALINK

Scrooge McDuck swam in a pool full of money. Dick Cheney wallows in a nest of shredded rendition orders.

Posted by: rufustfyrfly on December 15, 2007 at 2:07 AM | PERMALINK

e-shredding: Geeks on Call

Posted by: Kenneth on December 15, 2007 at 10:36 AM | PERMALINK

And see if they switched to macs they could just use this nifty little shredder widget in Dashboard...

'Truth is not only violated by falsehood; it may be equally outraged by silence.' - Henri Frederic Amiel

Posted by: Cyn S on December 15, 2007 at 1:20 PM | PERMALINK




 

 

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