Editore"s Note
Tilting at Windmills

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May 13, 2009
By: Hilzoy

Meeting Them On Their Level

I write to inform you that I have just concluded a special extraordinary session of me, in which I unanimously adopted the following resolution:

WHEREAS the Urban Dictionary defines "Poopyhead" as "The single most offensive thing you can call someone. It's like the atom bomb of arguments. Men fear it's omnipotent and awesome power. It it literally unmatched and all humble themselves in the presence of it's divinity. Few have survived to tell of it..." [sic];

WHEREAS the Republican Party, in its present incarnation, is deserving of any number of schoolyard epithets;

WHEREAS something has to stop them from making fools of themselves, and neither reason, decency, good sense, nor the prospect of an endless series of electoral defeats seems to do the trick;

WHEREAS the time therefore seems ripe to deploy "the atom bomb of arguments"; therefore be it

RESOLVED: that I, the member of me, recognize that the Republican Party is dedicated to reorganizing American society along poopyhead ideals; and be it further

RESOLVED: that I, the member of me, do call upon the Republican Party to be honest and truthful with the American people by acknowledging that they have devolved into a party of schoolchildren and should, therefore, agree to rename themselves the Grand Old Poopyheads.

Hilzoy 4:41 PM Permalink | Trackbacks | Comments (25)

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Comments

The GOP is just insuring we don't suffer a "Poopyhead Gap". It's a matter of national secularity.

Posted by: Comrade Stuck on May 13, 2009 at 4:52 PM | PERMALINK

Well, you're almost there. I think they need to call themselves the Republic Party of Poopyheads.

Posted by: douclangur on May 13, 2009 at 4:53 PM | PERMALINK

I second the motion for the Republic Party of Poopyheads. The motion passes, they shall henseforth be known as such.

Posted by: Patrick on May 13, 2009 at 4:56 PM | PERMALINK

Love it -- I'll join you if I may, and we can have adopt it as the members of "me and her." ;-)

Posted by: RR on May 13, 2009 at 4:57 PM | PERMALINK

Second!

Posted by: cha on May 13, 2009 at 5:00 PM | PERMALINK

I'm so glad this wasn't written by someone I might have considered voting for. But it could be a parody of half the legislation Republicans have proposed this year.

Posted by: Danp on May 13, 2009 at 5:01 PM | PERMALINK

Personally, I shall henceforth refer to our former Vice President as Raymond Luxury Yacht which, for those of us in the know, is pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove.

Posted by: Squid Vicious on May 13, 2009 at 5:11 PM | PERMALINK

WHEREAS something has to stop them from making fools of themselves

Why?

Posted by: Steve M. on May 13, 2009 at 5:11 PM | PERMALINK

Madame Chair, I submit the following Amendment; that we, in order to identify the GOP in a manner both intellectual and factual, recognize the GOP as the Garrulous Obstructionist Poopyheads.

Posted by: S. Waybright on May 13, 2009 at 5:12 PM | PERMALINK

Darn, I was going for "Republibums".

Posted by: N.Wells on May 13, 2009 at 5:18 PM | PERMALINK

Is it possible that Republicans had "socialist" polled, didn't like the response, and waterboarded the pollster?

Posted by: Danp on May 13, 2009 at 5:21 PM | PERMALINK

Not bad, not bad at all! I still am partial to calling them what I started calling them back in '92 while in the Army...Retardicans.

Posted by: elmo on May 13, 2009 at 5:46 PM | PERMALINK

about 4 hours ago, I sent an email to a friend about this and used the same term, though mine was to point out they picked "Democrat Socialist Party" because they hadn't thought of "Poopyhead"

Posted by: random on May 13, 2009 at 5:47 PM | PERMALINK

I think the Democratic Socialists are going to have something to say about this. You can't just grab one party's name and slap it onto another. I think there would be a trademark violation, if nothing else.

Posted by: Mnemosyne on May 13, 2009 at 5:58 PM | PERMALINK

Look at that, we've already got one Monty Python reference. I was just going to say that with the GOP's ongoing descent into complete silliness, I wouldn't be surprised if their presidential ticket in 2012 consisted of Jethro Q. Walrustitty and Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel.

Posted by: Stephen Stralka on May 13, 2009 at 6:24 PM | PERMALINK

Nicely crafter resolution. Suitable for framing.

Posted by: Bob G on May 13, 2009 at 7:17 PM | PERMALINK

This is a new age with new terms and less grandiosity, more simple usage. So I suggest that the Grand Old of Grand Old Poopyheads be retired and replaced with the much more modern and simple: Big as in Big Poopyheads.

We can start with Sen. Lindsay Graham (Big Poopyheads - SC)

Posted by: paulo on May 13, 2009 at 7:34 PM | PERMALINK

Gee I was just thinking of the Senate colloquies:

"I would like to thank my colleague the Poopyhead from South Carolina..."

Hilzoy you have inaugurated a new age.

Posted by: paulo on May 13, 2009 at 7:37 PM | PERMALINK

"party of schoolchildren"?
That's insulting to schoolchildren the world over.
Amend please.

Posted by: Chopin on May 13, 2009 at 7:40 PM | PERMALINK

Now now! Mocking the innocence of children is a sin!

Posted by: bleh on May 13, 2009 at 7:48 PM | PERMALINK

I agree with those who say we shouldn't ridicule silly people by comparing them to children. Lots of kids are silly, but think of those who (more and more) have adult responsiblities, helping raise siblings, keep peace, work for bread, etc. Many are smart and more mature than their "adult" supposed betters.

Posted by: Neil B. on May 13, 2009 at 8:14 PM | PERMALINK

Shame on you! Everybody knows that GOP stands for "God's Own Poopyheads." With that amendment, the motion is passed.

Seriously, how in the name of reason, or just a modicum of common sense, does Steele or any of the other "bright lights" in the GOP expect anyone to take them seriously again?

Posted by: GlenInBrooklyn on May 14, 2009 at 4:59 AM | PERMALINK

Ah, yes. The Grumpy Old Poopyheads. Actually, just using "Grumpy" in GOP reminds you that the current party is a lot like Stadler and Waldorf, just not as funny and a lot more offensive.

Grumpy Old Poopyheads. I like it.

Posted by: Saint Fnordius on May 14, 2009 at 6:32 AM | PERMALINK

I heard Lindsey Graham gets the poopy on his little head.

Posted by: Patrick on May 14, 2009 at 8:44 AM | PERMALINK

To me, they're acting like Eric Cartman.

Posted by: lou on May 14, 2009 at 12:06 PM | PERMALINK




 

 

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