Yeah, it would be great if accountability applied to the right. Here's me holding my breath.

It becomes more and more evident that one of the defining characteristics of people on the right is that they have no close ties to people of color, thus no idea how to interact with people of color as regular old human beings. I think this is the fundamental issue with the enormous anxiety represented by the Tea Party movement, and with the moronic banality displayed here.

So if you're offended by the fact that some Muslims want a place to pray that's a few blocks from the WTC site, you're standing up for our civilization. But if you're offended by the n-word, you're hypersensitive.

I don't understand conservatives.

"It's often hard to predict what constitutes a career-killing moment on talk radio, but I have a hard time imagining sponsors sticking with this show in the future."

That, Steve, would depend on which part of this Republic it's broadcasted in. I'd say she'd be fairly safe in about 12-15 states. She may even pick-up a number of new sponsors in some of them. My best guess is that she'll be a regular on O'Riely, Rush, and Joey Scarbourough shows in the near future.

"Schlessinger said on her website Wednesday that she was wrong in using the word for what she called an attempt to make a philosophical point.

I agree, she indeed did try to make her philosophical underpinnings very clear: just an old-fashioned neanderthal idiotic racist.

I think she clearly succeeded in making her philosophical point.

I think Schlessinger's mistake is a pretty big deal, although maybe not career-wrecking. Prominent right-wing talk radio hosts have reached their positions by surviving brutal competition and honing their race-baiting to razor's edge precision. Slipping up on her level is bad news.

Its somewhat alarming that anyone ever too Dr Laura (not a therapist) seriously on the topic of anything at all. Her archaic prejudices have always been readily apparent to the point that her advice on relationships would have seemed "out of touch" in the 1920s. The notion that the caller must have had that this particular talk show host would have something helpful to say about an interracial relationship is really puzzling to me.

I don't much care about Dr. Laura's attitudes on race and, frankly, her repeated use of the word nigger was probably the least offensive element of her demonstrated racial ignorance in that segment. What I hope this finally clarifies is how profoundly stupid the woman is about the human condition period. Stop asking Dr. Laura people. I guarantee you that whatever she says will not make your life better in any way.

It's often hard to predict what constitutes a career-killing moment on talk radio

No, Steve, it's easy to predict what constitutes a career-killing moment: The individual involved isn't a Republican.

If anything this is probably going to increase the demand for her show.

Why hasn't she been canned and is the FCC going to have a Wardrobe Malfunction moment and fine every single channel that carries her show ?

I will say this, at least she had the common sense to issue a REAL apology, didn't think people on the right had it in them. That is pretty fricken low bar, giving props to a idiot when she apologizes for saying N while on the air.

The good news is she can't go on Colbert, for instance, and claim she isn't a racist, like she did last week or maybe two weeks ago.

A question for the PC crowd. Does it make me(white) a racist if I don't want to be friends with an African-American who uses the N-word?

"A question for the PC crowd. Does it make me(white) a racist if I don't want to be friends with an African-American who uses the N-word?"

Answer out of the not-so-PC-crowd: "Yep!"

in today's world of the viral video, all that is needed for instant fame (and a reality show of your own) is a friend with an iPhone as you cry "Nigger!" in a crowded theater.

Michael, you might try talking to the potential friend and find out why he or she uses it, and whether they'd like you to use it or not, and then using it (or not) accordingly, but only when talking to him or her, without assuming that all other African-Americans should share the same opinion. You know, treating the person as an individual, rather than as a race.

It has become accepted custom in this country for a political, radio, tv, etc personality to go off on insensitive and bigoted rants and then turn around and say with a wink, "oops my bad". When bigotry can be excused with a wink and an "oops", we've abandoned the belief that all men are created equal. PErhaps instead of repealing the 14th Amendment, these oops my bad folks would prefer to just abolish the Bill of Rights all together. based on how the public reacts to these shenanigans, I'd say the general public wouldn't miss those rights much either.

A question for the PC crowd. Does it make me(white) a racist if I don't want to be friends with an African-American who uses the N-word?

In other words, you judge someone not by the color of their skin but the content of their character?

Dr. Laura's philosophy - As a privileged person, I can spew offensive language to make a point, so get over it! -Kevo

I've never listened to a Dr. Laura program so I have no idea what her role usually is but after reading the entire transcript what I found totally amazing is that she didn't offer one word of advice to this woman. Not one!! Isn't that the point of the program? (MY advice would have been that Jade should tell her imbecile of a husband that if he didn't tell his friends and family to start showing her some respect then he could get his sorry white ass out of her house and don't come back.)

"A question for the PC crowd. Does it make me(white) a racist if I don't want to be friends with an African-American who uses the N-word?

In other words, you judge someone not by the color of their skin but the content of their character? "

No. He judges someone by his ability to forget 200 years of oppression and humiliation. A jew in Germany has every right to call another jew "Scheißjude" - and he will not be a racist. I as a non-jewish German do not have that right without becoming racist.

It's very easy if you understand the concept of human dignity.

The few answers I got at HuffPo all said no.

I will say this, at least she had the common sense to issue a REAL apology, didn't think people on the right had it in them. That is pretty fricken low bar, giving props to a idiot when she apologizes for saying N while on the air.

Actually, she didn't. She said: "I articulated the N-word all the way out -- more than one time, and that was wrong. I'll say it again -- that was wrong."

She said what she did was wrong. But she didn't say "I'm sorry." She admitted wrongdoing, but she didn't demonstrate any remorse for having done the wrong.

An apology has three parts:
1. An acknowledgment of the offense - This is the part where you say that what you did was wrong. This shows the person that you realize that you caused them some sort of harm or pain.
2. An expression of remorse. That's what's missing here. You don't have to take responsibility for an intention to cause harm if there wasn't one, but you have to at least own up to the fact that you are the one in the wrong. Typically, this is accomplished by the words "I'm sorry."
3. When possible, some offer to try to help heal the harm caused - In this case, there's not much that she can do, so I'll let her off on this point.

An apology would go like this:

"I said a word that is hateful, and that causes people pain. It was wrong for me to say it and I shouldn't have. For that, I am sorry."

The distinction isn't trivial. She essentially said that what she did was wrong, but she doesn't feel remorse. This suggests one of two things. Either she's a sociopath, or she got some advice from a PR person who said, "Hey, people are pissed. You should issue an apology, but make sure you don't say, 'I'm sorry if your feelings got hurt.'" I'll generously assume this was a PR move, and not that Dr. Laura is a sociopath.

Look, she survived the nude shots--and she's hardly white-hot anymore. I haven't heard her name in a year or so.
There's a fringe world where she'll always be on the AM radio, audible in counties where the cars that don't run outnumber the ones that do.

Quite frankly, I'd say she didn't really apologize. Sisyphus above makes some good points. But what she really did was make this about a single word (which she *says* she regrets using). What about her apology for not taking racism seriously? Her use of the term "hypersensitive," (and most likely much more) is just as bad as, or possibly worse, than her use of a racist term.

Ian

In all fairness, the criticism of Dr. Laura here is misguided. She was making a valid point--that the use of the "N" word is offensive only in context. Whether you agree with this or not, she was using the word to make a point--what she called a "philosophical" point. We've all read about college professors who got in trouble at their institutions for just this sort of use of the word, and we generally sympathize with their plight.

Dr. Laura's real offense here is not her use of the word, but her obvious insensitivity to her caller's concern. And, having listened to Dr. Laura off on on over the years (although I generally can't stand to listen to her for more than 10 minutes at a time), I have to say that this is characteristic of her. She's not interested in helping her callers work through their problem; her purpose is to use the caller's situation as a springboard to lecture the caller (and her audience) about their lack of character, principle, etc. She is totally unsympathetic to her callers and, as the transcript in this instance shows, she constantly interrupts her callers, not letting them fully express the problem they are calling about. Her complaint to this caller that she was interrupting Dr. Laura is particularly ironic, since that is exactly what Laura was doing to her.

Without even hearing her caller out, Dr. Laura assumes that she is being oversensitive about race. Her real offense is that she dismisses her caller's concern out of hand, presuming that she is imagining the racism underlying certain remarks people make. Dr. Laura's unwillingness to accept the possibility of racism in her caller's situation is itself, I suspect, evidence of racism--or racial resentment--on Dr. Laura's part. And at the same time that she makes a valid point about the use of the "N" word not always being racist, I detect a resentment that "blacks can use the word but us whites can't". I think there's a touch of racism in this level of resentment

I read the transcript and it blew me away. "Dr" Laura attacked the caller for being too sensitive--she didn't once address the very real issue the woman was having with her husband's family & friends. She didn't give the caller an inch--didn't even pretend she was going to thoughtfully address the problem. I'm guessing, too, if the caller had been male the scenario would have been somewhat different. Laura is the kind of woman I despise--the kind who dismisses sexism and racism as a figment of the victim's overactive imagination.

A question for the PC crowd. Does it make me(white) a racist if I don't want to be friends with an African-American who uses the N-word?
Posted by: Michael7843853

It's like this dummy, I might call my mom a bitch to my wife or brother, but if you call her one, we are gonna have problems. Why don't people get this when it comes to the N-word. It depends on context.

I assuming you are white, if we were friends I might say you dancing like a white-ass cracker, when we are clowning around, would it be the same as out at the club on the dance floor and a black girl said the same thing, would it mean the same thing ? Right, one is offensive, and one is funny. Context.

Not that there is any professional similarity between the two people, but why the end for Schlesinger be any different than it was for Helen Thomas? Rush her out the door to retirement, where she can repent her remarks in private, at her leisure.

A question for the PC crowd. Does it make me(white) a racist if I don't want to be friends with an African-American who uses the N-word?

In reality, choosing to not be friends with a black person because your are offended by them using the N-word is not, to my mind, racist. Just hopelessly ignorant.

However, the nature of your question, with its "PC crowd" talk and its weak attempt at creating some sort of "gotcha" controversy, does indicate that you are likely a racist.

You probably start a lot of your stories with "So, I'm at the store and I see this black guy getting out of a car..." and "Now, I'm no racist, but..."

Posted by: Sisyphus on August 13, 2010 at 10:05 AM

Sisyphus, thank you for your very helpful definition of the constituents of an apology in your post above.

to my thinking, "I'm sorry if your feelings got hurt." is only an apology if the first element-An acknowledgment of the offense - "what I did was wrong/inappropriate is present; if only the "I'm sorry your feeling are hurt" is present it seems to me to be really saying "I'm sorry you are so overly sensitive."

I am African American and I find the use of the N word in print just as offensive as when it's being used vocally.

And yes, I am calling some of you out!!!

Where is Sharpton and all the outrage that forced Imus out?

And yes, I am calling some of you out!!!

First, saying that you are calling people out is not the same as actually calling people out. That is, calling people out actually involves naming names, otherwise its the opposite.

Second, I am African American as well and I find the phrase "N-Word" far more offensive than the word "nigger." But more important than the offense it gives me is the fact that it signals that we, as a society, still believe we can avoid the difficult discussions and complexities of race that so define our culture by resorting to incredibly childish euphemisms.

That is, as others have already pointed out, a problem elucidated in this very discussion. What Dr. Laura said was extraordinarily ignorant and displayed what should be an unacceptable level of racial stupidity but her "out" is to apologize for the use of a controversial word as if the sentiment behind her absurd rant would not really be a problem if she phrased it differently. I, for one, refuse to play that particular game.

In all fairness, the criticism of Dr. Laura here is misguided. She was making a valid point--that the use of the "N" word is offensive only in context.

But it was offensive in the context she used it in, so the criticism isn't misguided at all.

Here's a hint: A white person has no business telling a black person not to be offended at a white person using the N-word -- and repeating the slur a bunch of times into the bargain -- regardless of whether black people use it.

This is why my wife and I call her: "Dr. Laura Shitslinger."

Second, I am African American as well and I find the phrase "N-Word" far more offensive than the word "nigger."

Then I apologize for the euphemism, but I was brought up never to use that word, and I'm simply not comfortable with doing so.

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Then I apologize for the euphemism, but I was brought up never to use that word, and I'm simply not comfortable with doing so.

Sorry Gregory. I was being somewhat facetious there. I do hate the phrase but I don't really find it offensive in a personal sense. I meant that it bothers me that our discussion of race has become so disconnected and ridiculous that we, in a larger social context, have resorted to truly pointless euphemisms as a way of communicating about the matter. I realize that you and others haven't come up with a very good way of invoking that particular term but that is because we have failed as a society to deal with issues of race in an honest and useful way, not because you, in particular, have failed to think about it enough.

Brent makes a great point. And so does Gregory.

My grandfather was an ignorant racist who thought nothing of spouting the most offensive crap imaginable. My father, on the other hand, was the opposite. Not only were we not allowed to use the word in our house, granddad wasn't either.

While I find the phrase "N-word" to be an utter sidestep of a very real issue, the word "nigger" makes me incredibly uncomfortable, no matter who is saying or why.

Meanwhile, at my granddad's funeral in 1994, a visitor told us about the time he dove into the Maury River and saved a black family whose car had just crashed into it. My dad was stunned as he'd never heard the story. He did remember a night from his childhood when his father came home soaking wet. When asked what happened his dad replied, "Did you know a car's headlights will burn under water?"

That's all he ever said about it.

Second, I am African American as well and I find the phrase "N-Word" far more offensive than the word "nigger."
Posted by: brent

Brent, as a white guy I totally agree, but...

Last year I decided to start using 'nigger' in context like this for the same reason you mention. My thought is when not using it in certain contexts, like discussion of the very word, what's the problem ? Well the problem is I was using it in the same context, but in person and it came out in a discussion. One of my truly good friends who is as liberal as me, and she was truly offended. I explained the context, but it wasn't enough, she was questioning my liberals credentials. In the end she got it, but still wasn't down with it. So I stopped because if I had that many issues with a really good friend who I have known for years, I wouldn't have a chance with someone I didn't know well or worse, someone who is cool with that language thinking I was one their own, and here in Texas, that is not an association I want to make.

To make a long story short I agree in theory, but in real life, I'm not going to be using nigger in conversation, whether on-line or in person. Not sure if that explanation is lame, realistic, or a cop-out ?

I'm with DRF on this one. Having read the transcript, I don't think you can fairly accuse her of "calling" anyone ____ (whatever we're going to call it here). Basically, it was pretty much the standard conservative complaint/observation that "why is it black people can use the word and white people can't?"

I suspect TNC has already answered this question, to the extent it needs an answer. In an nutshell, I'd say if you have to ask, you probably don't get it.

So yeah, call her a racist and offensive jerk; she is one. But it's not exactly how it's being portrayed in the media and some of the comments, which is why I predict she'll survive. Hell, look at Rushbo: he's a racist and offensive jerk too, and it isn't hurting him any.

To make a long story short I agree in theory, but in real life, I'm not going to be using nigger in conversation, whether on-line or in person. Not sure if that explanation is lame, realistic, or a cop-out ?

I certainly don't think its a cop out. I think its difficult and the tools by which we have to change the discourse on this matter are unfortunately very limited. In a personal context, I think you have to decide your priorities and I suspect that your decision is the most reasonable course of action in that context. There are contexts where I wouldn't even contemplate using the word either, with some of my older relatives for instance, but for me, the notion that there ought to be some sort of absolute ban on any particular word as some, including the NAACP at one point, have suggested strikes me as unhelpful, to say the least, in the long term.

@ Brent...

Euphemism or not, I still do not comprehend why you feel the use of the N word is just as distasteful as saying “N____r(I still refuse to say it in print or otherwise). I am definitely more comfortable saying the N word as opposed to spilling the entire word….I have females friends that call themselves the B word(endearingly) but you better not use that same word on them or they go bananas…..same as the F word. My 8 yr old daughter communicates the F word to me that way anytime she unfortunately witnesses it being used on TV.
We will have to agree to disagree on this one, but when you say you find the use of both words offensive, what choice do you leave a white person to be able to express themselves if they cannot use neither.
Sign language?

Chrenson, you as sensitive about the term 'PC crowd' as some African Americans are about a certain term. Glad I threw that in there. It's laughable. Some people spend too much time trying to hear dog whistles. You don't know me at all.

Euphemism or not, I still do not comprehend why you feel the use of the N word is just as distasteful as saying “N____r(I still refuse to say it in print or otherwise). I am definitely more comfortable saying the N word as opposed to spilling the entire word

As I said above, I was being somewhat facetious. The truth is that no word actually offends me in and of itself. The problem is never the word, its the sentiment behind it and euphemisms like "the N Word" are just a way of pretending that those sentiments don't exist if the offending term isn't used. That is what offends me although "offense" is not really the proper term for the way I feel about it.

So, to take a different example: Check the discussion of Mel Gibson's well distributed rant at his wife in which he suggests that she would be a fault if she was "raped by a pack of niggers." Of course, lots of news outlets called themselves discussing the racial context of these remarks but most, not all, focused on whether Mel Gibson was racist because he used "the N-Word." We may disagree on many thing but I would hope that we would not disagree that the real problem with his statement is not that he said the word "niggers" but that he rather flippantly expressed that he naturally associated black men with heightened risks of sexual violence.

But by focusing so much energy on the particular phrasing that people use to describe their racism, and popularization of terms like the N-word is very much a part of that, we allow the discourse to center around inane discussions of Gibson's choice of words. When he apologizes, I will bet anything you want that that is what he will apologize for, an inappropriate use of language.

As for what language white people should use, the simple truth is that there are not really very many circumstances where a word like "nigger" ought to be necessary or appropriate to use except in describing someone else's speech and, in that context, I think the use of the term is perfectly appropriate to be used by anyone of any race.

I am reminded of a scene from the boondocks where the principal of Riley's school is asked by a reporter to discuss a teacher's inappropriate use of the N-word.

Principal: We have strict guidelines for language use and use euphemisms in place of racial language like "the N word" and the "S word."

Reporter: Whats the "S word?"

Principal: Spearchucker

Reporter: How often do you have to use the word "Spearchucker?"

Principal: We don't ever have to. We use the phrase "S word" instead.

You don't know me at all.

Indeed it's difficult to tell from your posts whether you earnestly believe that there's an unfair double standard in racial discourse, or merely view yourself as some kind of gadfly ironist who has just blown all of our minds. Either way, you've greatly overestimated the acuity of your supposed provocation.

Here is the answer to any of this, if it offends someone don't use it.

Who am I to say what is offensive to you. Damn. In high school I had a friend I called Spenis (I would have to tell you his last name to get it), then in college he told me not to call him that any more, I didn't argue, or call him PC, none of that, I stopped, problem solved.

If someone doesn't want to be called nigger by white people, what the fricken problem white people ? Making the arguement only proves ya don't care what they think or feel.

There is no, 'but' to that statement. The PC non-sense mentioned above is nothing but an excuse to be cruel, it's not politically correct, it common decency/courtesy/sense.

It's why you never tell you wife her ass if rather large even when it is.

Having read the transcript, I don't think you can fairly accuse her of "calling" anyone ____ (whatever we're going to call it here).

Who, exactly, is accusing her of calling anyone that? The complain is that she used offensive language in an offensive manner -- one can do that without calling anyone anything.

Though I suspect that'll be part of the dishonest conservative defense -- "hey, she never called the black woman a ______, so what's the big deal?"

Hogwash.

Brent, I appreciate your thoughtful posts on the topic.

Thanks Brent for your perceptive analysis on the Mel Gibson fiasco, and yes I saw it the way you did as well, although I would have to say I was offended by both the language and the underlying intimation i.e. (Black man = sexual violence)

But this piece of your post “As for what language white people should use, the simple truth is that there are not really very many circumstances where a word like "nigger" ought to be necessary or appropriate to use except in describing someone else's speech and, in that context, I think the use of the term is perfectly appropriate to be used by anyone of any race.”

Isnt this what Dr Laura was attempting to articulate?

Here is the answer to any of this, if it offends someone don't use it.

That is a reasonable sentiment as far as it goes but of course, it gets a lot more complicated than that right? As I said, there are certain terms that I will avoid around certain relatives because I have made the calculation that it is not worth upsetting them but there are other times when I value the effectiveness of my own personal expression far above the sensitivities of whoever might be in earshot.

I think when you are talking about naming someone or labeling them specifically, then a lot of weight ought to be placed on their feelings about that label. On the other hand, when you are discussing things more generally, I think you have to place considerably less, although still some weight on their particular sensitivities and more on what word choice expresses your thoughts most precisely and effectively. It is, for sure, a balancing act but I have never seen much value in pretending that certain words don't exist.

Given that the woman who called was likely the only black person listening to the program, "Dr. Laura" will do just fine, given that her audience comes over to her after listening to Limpdick and Goofy Glenn.

Isnt this what Dr Laura was attempting to articulate?

I don't think so. I think she was trying to say that because some people use the term appropriately than it is appropriate for her to use it any way she likes. I think this summarizes what she has to say on the matter:

I don't get it. If anybody without enough melanin says it, it's a horrible thing; but when black people say it, it's affectionate. It's very confusing.

She completely elides the concept of context there suggesting that because the term is quite often used in a very specific context, there is no context in which it ought to be a problem.

Let me be clear, if I wasn't already, that I do not agree with this at all. As I said, it doesn't seem to me that there are very many contexts in which it makes any sense for non-black people to go around calling other people niggers because it is not a particularly descriptive term. The only context that I can think of offhand is if they are describing someone else's speech. So if Dr. Laura had simply said, black people use the word nigger all the time and left it at that, that wouldn't bother me at all. But what she was actually intimating is that means that there is no reason for black people to be offended by someone else's use of the term in an entirely different context.

That is one of the major problems that I have with what she said and I consider it far more of a problem than her flippant use of the term itself. Yet here we are discussing, not her racial cluelessness expressed in 100s of other non-controversial terms, but her use of a particular term.

I think when you are talking about naming someone or labeling them specifically, then a lot of weight ought to be placed on their feelings about that label. On the other hand, when you are discussing things more generally, I think you have to place considerably less, although still some weight on their particular sensitivities and more on what word choice expresses your thoughts most precisely and effectively.
Posted by: brent

I disagree, what is the difference ? We don't use certain terms because they are offensive, categorizing, or just dated. Regardless if it's on a micro or macro level.

'Secretary' is now 'executive assistant, 'Jews' and now Jewish people, and on and on. My point was there should be no arguement if a person or a group of people don't want to be called a certain term or phrase, we shouldn't ponder the philosophy of why they don't like, we should respect their wishes. Brent, if you wanted me to call you Questar, I would laugh, but I would do it. If your race prefers black to African American, done, I don't particular care why, I will simply respect you and your race and abide.

I am way beyond the original utterance by the good doctor.

Tea Baggers would be a good example, I know they hate it, but I do it anyways because my goal is to irritate and demean them. If I actually respected them, I would use Tea Party. Just because I state the obvious, they coined the phrase, doesn't make it OK.

Which leads me to my last point, who am I do determine what is and isn't offensive, and to what degree is the insensitivity ? That is virtually an impossibility for me to determine, so isn't easier just to let it go, and respect their wish ?

'Secretary' is now 'executive assistant, 'Jews' and now Jewish people, and on and on. My point was there should be no arguement if a person or a group of people don't want to be called a certain term or phrase, we shouldn't ponder the philosophy of why they don't like, we should respect their wishes. Brent, if you wanted me to call you Questar, I would laugh, but I would do it. If your race prefers black to African American, done, I don't particular care why, I will simply respect you and your race and abide.

What I am saying is that it is important to separate two things 1) how to talk to people in a personal context and 2) how to use language in the wider discourse.

Black versus African American is, I think, a good example of what I mean here. You will find that lots of black people prefer the term African Americans while others prefer the term black. If you know a particular black person, they might actually express to you that they find one term or the other preferable, and in the context of speaking to that person, maybe it makes sense to use that particular term. But in discussing race in a more general context, you will have to make a choice and I think that choice ought to give far more weight to which term you think is more descriptive and precise than who it might offend. I happen to think the term black is a better and more useful term and it is the term I will use to describe people of my race in the discussion despite the fact that I know it offends some members of my race. There are a lot of reasons for this but just take my word for the moment that I think it is a much more useful and descriptive term.

Now the situation is obviously a little different for me because I happen to be black, but ultimately, you as a white guy will still have to take a side and in doing so, you will have to come up with some justification for the term that you have chosen that is independent of the consideration of who it might offend. That is not to say that choosing the term say "darkies" is equal to the choice of "afro-american" but there are a lot of nuances here that you need to consider.

Hey some British people hate to be called English, but I don't think it means that you should decide to never use the word "English" in describing citizens of the UK ever again.

Euphemisms that apply to disfavored groups always become "tainted" and derogatory and give way to new euphemisms: for examples, consider that queer, handicapped, spastic, moron, and retarded were all once at the acme of sensitive speech. This is inevitable when you haven't actually resolved the underlying distaste/fear/prejudice but have merely renamed the problem. When one of the names becomes derogatory, use by someone to whom the name does not apply is almost inescapably derogatory, particularly when it could apply to one of the recipients of the message, no matter what you intended. Derogatory and hateful words become powerful, so that even in a well-intentioned discussion, the overtones and the "from-power-to-the-powerless" direction of the message can overwhelm any good intentions (i.e. a put-down cannot escape its downward connotations when used or received "downwardly".) However, the use of a negative word by someone within the group, particularly to another member of the group, can be positive (challenging the power of the word or claiming it as in "we're queer and we're here"), or jocular. Your mom can refer to her coffee klatsch as "the biddies", but you had better not.

I am black. Dr. Laura is so right about blacks and the whole double standard of who can say the word "Nigger". I don't like the word; however, it seems each time a white attempts to have honest dialog with blacks. Black activists or hypersensitive blacks attempt to dissuade them. The housewife who called in sounds like she wants everyone to see her as a person and nothing else. Let’s live in reality; currently each race recognizes when a person of another race is in their circle. It does not mean we are racists. I have friends who are white. Some of them have black hair, some have red hair, some have blonde hair. Yet, I see each of them as an individuals, yet I noticed these things. I have friends who are black. I noticed their height differences, their nose width, their hair texture and the lightness of their skin. To blacks that don't like to hear "nigger vocalized" don't live in black communities and stop watching HBO.

Dr. Laura, if I could take your pain away and carry it for my own, I would gladly do so.
Sincerely

100 % champion for you..

I have friends who are white. Some of them have black hair, some have red hair, some have blonde hair. Yet, I see each of them as an individuals, yet I noticed these things.

If you went up to one of your red headed friends and asked them how redheads feel about say, baseball or fried chicken, they would, at the very least, find it to be a strange if not offensive question. That is what the caller was talking about and that is what you have conveniently elided from your discussion of the issue.

The issue, to state it bluntly, is not whether or not people notice if she is black, it is how they treat that information and whether they appreciate the fact that not all black people are the same. This would seem to be extremely obvious but it appears not to be to either Dr. Laura or yourself.

As for the so-called "double standard" for who can use the term, I believe I have made my opinion on the matter pretty clear in this thread. I will just state so that it is absolutely clear that it is not possible for me to disagree with your assessment of this matter any more strongly than I do.

I will wade in, not having read every post.
I find Dr. Laura to be offensive and abusive to many of her callers, though I have not listened to her show for decades. I actually used to listen to The Bill Ballance Show when he first brought her on. He launched her career, not to mention launching other parts of her. Her level of hypocrisy is unbelievable, even dismissing her recent rant. My judgment is of anyone who would call her for any kind of advice. She has negative opinions of others who do or have done what she does or has done in her life and has no compassion for others. Why someone who claims to be a black woman married to a white man would feel compelled to call Dr. Laura for advice on this or any other life issue is beyond me.

Using the "N" word was the least of Dr. Laura's trangressions against this woman. What disturbs me most about the exchange is how easy it was for Dr. Laura to lose control, play the race card, and then project it onto the caller. The problem of my-husband-doesn't-defend-me-against-his-family-and-friends is a common complaint in Marriageville. Never once, have I heard anyone answer this question by dragging in the president, the voting behavior of racial groups, and the use of the "N" word in comedy routines. Therapist and advice columnists usually address this subject by focusing on the parties and issues involved. Dr. Laura started out OK; but when her ego or authority was challenged, the lid of her Pandora's box of racial grievances flew open. I was glad when the call ended. Heaven only knows what else Dr. Laura would have said.

Who doesn't like some salt on their Cracker?

Michael7843853: "A question for the PC crowd. Does it make me (white) a racist if I don't want to be friends with an African-American who uses the N-word?"

Absolutely not. After all, we all enjoy the right to free association, which is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution's Bill of Rights.

And taking your inquiry to its logical conclusion, you probably wouldn't want to be friends with me either, since I'm a gay man who's been known to use the word "fag." I'm sorry if you're offended by that perjorative - I'd have used the term "F-word," but it's already been appropriated by the word "fuck."

However, you really shouldn't worry yourself too much about having many African-American friends. Because by asking that sort of race-baiting rhetorical question, you've now identified yourself as a real Cracker. And if I were a betting queer, I'd wager better-than-even odds that we could count on one hand the number of black people you actually know personally.

Africo: "Isnt this what Dr Laura was attempting to articulate?"

She was trying to articulate something? And here all this time, I just thought she was being her usual judgmental, overbearing, self-righteous self.

Dr. Laura,

You are an entitled, narcissistic, opinionated, bigoted first class c%nt. Oh, sorry, my bad. If you are offended you should get your head out of your PC a$$ and stop being so hypersensitive.

After reading all the anti-Dr. Laura comments and the original article, all I can say is that comprehension skills in this country are pretty much dead.

I agree with those who said that using a particular word toward a relative, sister, brother etc., can be a term of endearment, that all within that circlular bond understands it as an endearment - like a brother saying to his little brother: "Come here, my little niggar." Or, a man saying to his girlfriend, You're my bitch; she might like his calling her that and feels it to be endearing. However, if a stranger said to the boy, "Come here, little niggar" Or, a stranger said to the girl: "You bitch!" Same word - one context familiar and endearing, the other context: a stranger,- non-familiar, and offensive; those words now bear a tone of hostility and incitement. So, to my end, the word, the context the bonding familiarity provides the intention. Saying all that, my argument with Dr. S., is that she was quite angry and that her answers was venting her suppressed angry feeling toward race relations. I was especially disturbed that she never let Jade explain or tell her story. Dr. S. cut Jade off and never asked for any other examples that would enable the Dr. S., to fully assess and determine if what Jade was feeling aggrieved about had merit; or did not have merit. Dr. J. was to provide for the lady Jade another perspective so that Jade could cope with the brewing problem, and not leave her marriage. Dr. S. ignored Jade, and used Jade's time to let off her own toxic insights. Why bring in President Obama? Then say: "... that most African-Americans voted for our President, because he was black". That is her assumption, not a fact. I, as an Afro-Latina, and a political activist - know that that is not true. Black Americans voted for our President because of the integrity and his personal passion to help humankind; and he had ideas to help humankind; that is why he ran on a platform of CHANGE. If Black Americans voted strictly on race, they would have been behind Jessie Jackson or Reverend Sharpton when each ran for office. These two candidates did not strike the hearts of the Black Americans as did our President. Many Black Americans truly love(d) President Clinton and Hilliary Clinton; but the words,insights, compassion and ideas of the then Senator Obama,was overwhelming as he recognized the masses of working-class people of all races. Dr. S. has lost my respect, because, as a Therapist, she did not LISTEN to Jade. Instead, she interupted cutting off Jade as the dear Dr. S. spewd forth and displayed a comtemptuous attitude toward her caller. For this Doctor(?) to also say,(paraphrase...)"to marry your own race, if you are so sensitive". That was a remark that revealed she does not like interracial relationships and marriages, thus, her caller should expect the brazen remarks of others..." Dr. S. fails to acknowledge that loving another person's very essence makes them "colorblind". Dr. S. FAILED to address the core of what her caller was TRYING to tell her. That the caller's husband allowed others: friends and relatives to encounter his wife in an assertive-abusive manner; and, was oblivious to his wife's feelings. The caller, Jade, needed advice on how to cope, how to analyze and how to address the situation as it arises. I am sure Dr. S would not want anyone saying to her: Since you are a Jew..., why are you Kites (?)complaining so much about, don't you get enough? Can Dr. S. laugh it off, or would she feel somewhat slighted? How would she handle the situation? That was all her caller was asking - "how to handle the situation." Dr. S. failed this caller, and was flaggrantly discourteous. The station needs a real therapist answering callers in distress, not one, like Dr. S., who spouts off at the mouth at people, with insensitivity and indifference.

When people say, "I want to f--- you," to their wives, it's affectionate. When they say it to their coworkers, it's offensive. It's confusing.