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March 14, 2013 3:45 PM CPAC’s Greatest Hits

By Ed Kilgore

I had planned to do post making fun of some of the agenda items on the CPAC schedule, but MoJo’s Tim Murphy beat me to the punch with a item entitled: “9 CPAC Events We Initially Thought Were Parodies.”

You should read it all, but here’s a brief sample of some of CPAC’s odder offerings:

* “Should we shoot all the consultants now?,” featuring Pat Caddell: Finally, a Democrat! Except it’s Caddell, a former Jimmy Carter pollster who now plays the part of the Good Democrat on Fox News. In the run-up to the 2012 election, he repeatedly argued that President Obama should remove himself from the presidential race and be replaced by Hillary Clinton. We don’t think Pat Caddell should be shot, but it’d be tough to find a consultant who offers worse advice.
* “Stop THIS: Threats, Harassment, Intimidation, Slander, and Bullying from the Obama Administration,” with Ben Shapiro: In which the Breitbart.com reporter behind the “Friends of Hamas” smear accuses someone else of slander.

Tim did miss a couple that caught my attention:

* “The United States vs. The United Nations: The End Run Around the American Way of Life,” headlined by Dr. Michael Farris, Chancellor of Patrick Henry College.. I dunno what particular insight the doughty Christian Right warhorse and homeschool advocate Farris has into the nefarious takeover schemes of the U.N. But it’s comforting to know he’ll undoubtedly share it with his students at Patrick Henry, the hard-core Right’s most important transmission belt for landing young militants jobs in Washington.
* Book Signing: Front Row Seat: A Photographic Portrait of the Presidency of George W. Bush, with The Honorable Eric Draper, former Special Assisstant to the President and Chief White House Photographer. Wait a minute: I thought W. had sold out his conservative principles and plunged the RINO-dominated GOP into defeat and the proud American economy into recession with his Big Spending. I’m confused.

Ah, CPAC. The hits just keep coming.

Ed Kilgore is a contributing writer to the Washington Monthly. He is managing editor for The Democratic Strategist and a senior fellow at the Progressive Policy Institute. Find him on Twitter: @ed_kilgore.

Comments

  • c u n d gulag on March 14, 2013 4:39 PM:

    "The CPAC Liberal Smash:"

    WE Conservatives were working in the political labs late one night
    When our eyes beheld an eerie sight
    For our TeaBircher monster from his slab began to rise
    And suddenly to our surprise

    He did the mash
    He did the Liberal smash
    The Liberal smash
    It was a graveyard smash
    He did the Liberal smash
    It caught on in a flash
    He did the Liberal smash
    He did the monster mash

    From our political laboratories in the castle east
    To the master bedroom where the vampire capitalists feast
    The Fascist Corporate ghouls all came from their stately abodes
    To get a jolt from our electrodes

    They did the mash
    They did the Liberal smash
    The monster mash
    It was a graveyard smash
    They did the mash
    It caught on in a flash
    They did the mash
    They did the Liberal smash

    The granny-starving zombies were having fun
    The party had just begun
    The guests included Cruz-Man
    Ron and his son

    The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
    Paul Ryan in foreskin chains, backed by his baying Politico hounds
    The Christian Bible-bangers were about to arrive
    With their vocal group, "The Liberal-Kicker Five"

    They played the mash
    They played the Liberal smash
    The Liberal smash
    It was a graveyard mash
    They played the mash
    It caught on in a flash
    They played the mash
    Theyplayed the Liberal smash

    Out from her coffin, Palin's voice did ring
    Seems she was troubled by just one thing
    She opened the lid and shook her fist
    And said, "Whatever happened to my Death Panel Twist?"

    It's now the mash
    It's now the Liberal smash
    The Liberal smash
    And it's a graveyard smash
    It's now the mash
    It's caught on in aflash
    It's now the mash
    It's now the Liberal smash

    Now everything's cool, Rove's a part of the band
    And this monster mash is the bane of the land
    For you, the reality-based, this mash wasn't meant for you
    When you get to our CPAC door, we'll tell you a loud "F*CK YOU!"

    Then you can get mashed
    Then you can get Liberal smashed
    The Liberals we'll mash
    And do our graveyard smash
    Then you can get mashed
    You'll get caught in a Liberal catch
    Then you can get mashed
    Then you can get FINALLY Liberal mashed!!!

    source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/

  • IOKIYAR on March 14, 2013 5:07 PM:

    Wasn't Mike Farris the Lt. Governor candidate who was too far right for a Republican wave year in 1993?

    The rest of the Republican slate that year won (George Allen as governor, Jim Gilmore as AG), but Don Beyer won the lieutenant governor race.

    I also want to point out that some aspects of the unease with Farris seem to be playing out this year with Cuccinelli...