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February 27, 2012 3:00 PM Future Rick Santorum Issues

By Jonathan Bernstein

Rick Santorum’s latest effort to prove he’s in the mainstream is an accusation that Barack Obama wants kids to go to college because…American colleges are “indoctrination mills” and they’ll all lose their religious faith if they attend. I’d like to say something about this, but both Kevin Drum and Ed Kilgore really have it covered, so I’ll just try to stay ahead of the curve by predicting future Rick Santorum discoveries:

1. Starbucks is pretty obviously brainwashing Americans, what with their foreign drink sizes and pagan symbolism.


2. Soccer: why are the secularists foisting on us a sport played mainly in heathen nations such as Brazil and Mexico?


3. Cable companies, with their bundling policy, forcing regular Americans to have IFC, BBC America, and other weird anti-Christian TV in their homes.


4. I’m really not all that sure about whether water parks promote good, clean, wholesome values. Are you?



5. We all know that cosmopolitan liberal elites have run Hollywood from the start, but what’s with all the pantheistic junk they’re serving up now? Thor? Really?


6. Now, I’m not saying that HOV lanes and energy standards for refrigerators are Satan’s handiwork, but there’s every chance that they are. Better safe than sorry.

7. Everyone knows that Ikea is mainly a plot to force Americans to stay home on Sundays assembling bookshelves and cabinets instead of going to church, right? Insidious.


Granted, what I’d really like to hear is what Santorum thinks about rap music, but we can’t have everything, can we?

[Cross-posted at A plain blog about politics]

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Jonathan Bernstein is a political scientist who writes about American politics, especially the presidency, Congress, parties, and elections.
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