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August 23, 2012 11:45 AM Vote for Romney; Join a Harem

By Mark Kleiman

You’ll be able to read far and wide this year without finding a sicker piece of political writing than Kevin Williamson’s paean to the awesomeness of Mitt Romney’s alpha-maleness, now up on National Review Online.

Williamson’s central argument is that the wives of Romney and his sons have huge litters, consisting mostly of males, while Obama has only two daughters. That proves that Romney, who’s basically a “tribal chieftain,” is manlier than Obama, whose two daughters mean that he practically has “fallopian tubes.” (No, seriously. I’m quoting, accurately and in context.)

Moreover, Romney is really, really rich, and since all women, deep in their 23rd chromosome pair, really want to be part of some sheikh’s harem, “Mitt Romney ought to get 100% of the female vote.”

Now, if I were like Kevin Williamson, I’d point out that admiring alpha males is purely a female trait; the other males mostly want to kill them, or at least replace them. And then I’d draw the natural conclusion about Williamson’s masculinity, perhaps with Romney’s own signature “Attagirl!”

But I’m not at all like that, so instead let me remark that Williamson’s post defines precisely the difference between the extreme right and normal people. Monogamy, which redistributes reproductive opportunities from high-status males to the rest of us, is a fundamentally egalitarian idea. Polygamy is the Randian alternative: equality of opportunity, not equality of result. Just as Romney says children ought to get “as much education as they can afford,” on Williamson’s account every man ought to have as many wives and children as he can afford.

If you are a woman who longs to share a disgustingly rich husband with a dozen or so co-wives, or a man rich enough to afford to keep a harem, or, like Williamson, a pathetic lickspittle of such rich men – someone who would sacrifice his manhood to be a harem guard if the pay were good enough – you should definitely vote Republican.

Else, not.

[Cross-posted at The Reality-based Community]

Mark Kleiman is a professor of public policy at the University of California Los Angeles.

Comments

  • Josef K on August 23, 2012 1:16 PM:

    You’ll be able to read far and wide this year without finding a sicker piece of political writing than Kevin Williamson’s paean to the awesomeness of Mitt Romney’s alpha-maleness, now up

    I really, really wish you hadn't said that, because now The Universal Order of Things is honor-bound to produce something even worse than Williamson's piece.

  • Rahul on August 23, 2012 3:48 PM:

    One thing I didn't understand - Williamson believes in evolutionary psychology? Wouldn't that indicate a belief in evolution? The horror!

  • Equal Opportunity Cynic on August 24, 2012 3:50 PM:

    I love the comment citing Matthew 7:16. Here's the passage in context:

    Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

    Obviously, Jesus is saying there that we should grovel before the rich and beg them to pillage us further, especially if they have big families full of male children to boot.